“I feel like I don’t do enough to be as tired as I am”. “I did nothing all weekend and I’m still exhausted!” “Why do I need so much rest?” Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Many people are frustrated and confused by how depleted they continue to feel after down-time. They want to feel more energized and refreshed but can’t seem to get the restorative rest they need. Let’s look at why that might be!
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When I think of grief and loss, there are a handful of emotions that come to mind: sadness, anger, fear, agony, overwhelm, and many more that we may not even have words for. All of these are valid. In these moments, I personally have found it helpful to have some guiding pillars to return to and act as my compass while navigating through the intricacies of this experience. Today, I’d like to share those with you all. Whether you’re experiencing grief, loss, or a combination of both I encourage you to remember and exercise the following…
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The hot summer months can be a challenging time for highly sensitive people (HSPs). Though it’s only spring, those of us who are sensitive to heat are already dreading the increasingly hot days (and nights). With the hot weather and longer days, life can feel extra overwhelming. Even the most seemingly innocuous activities can leave you feeling overwhelmed and drained. Here are some tips for coping with rising temperatures as an HSP:
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We all experience grief at different points in our lives and in various layers and complexities. When a loved one dies, there’s the obvious gut-wrenching grief that can feel all-consuming. If we move away, there’s the loss of proximity to friends and the community we’ve built plus the loss of the familiar - our home, routines, places we frequent - that can all bring grief, even if it arrives in conjunction with excitement and hope for the future. We also feel grief when relationships end, whether it’s a friendship that comes to a close or a break-up of a romantic relationship, all those same waves of denial, sadness, anger, bargaining, and acceptance may come up again and again as we adjust to how life is different and what we miss about that relationship.
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We live in a very polarized culture. In the U.S., popular discourse seems to be dominated by overly simplistic descriptions of complex situations and people. Who among us has been glad we were not the ones being called out or criticized online? Perhaps we've even participated in criticizing others for being "toxic" or some other popular term for people we despise.
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I often hear the frustration and sadness and defeat in the voices of highly sensitive people (HSP) when they share how they become more emotional, overwhelmed, shut down, or worn out in situations that don’t seem to affect other people. This difference can make HSPs feel like outsiders, like there must be something wrong with them because they are “abnormal” compared to everyone around them.
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There are many factors to consider when thinking about teen substance use, such as which substances are being used, the environment in which they are used, frequency, and possibly most importantly, the reason they are being used. All of these factors are interrelated and thus must be considered together when trying to understand substance use. For the purposes of this blog however, the focus will be on understanding why teens may use substances and how this impacts development.
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"I just want to be able to cope better." I hear it all the time. Sometimes, coping is desirable and beneficial but when is it unhealthy to "cope"?
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Being highly sensitive definitely has its ups and downs. In a culture that often devalues vulnerability, we can get the message that sensitivity is undesirable or “weak” and we should try our best to suppress it. But as I always say, there are two sides to everything. Let’s look at the other side of the coin and see if it can help us to appreciate our sensitivity.
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Have you noticed a shift in your teens' day-to-day routine and mood? Getting them out the door for school may feel like the same battle each morning as they tearfully beg you to let them stay home again. You may have noticed your teen is increasingly holed up in their room uninterested in hanging out with friends or more reluctant than usual to join the family. Or maybe you’ve heard your frustrated teen complain about being unable to get to sleep, furthering the challenge of getting them moving in the morning. These behaviors may be signs of underlying anxiety that leave you feeling helpless and desperate for solutions to help get your child feeling like themselves again. If so, here are a few tools for supporting your teen through anxiety…
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Navigating difficult times in a marriage can be one of the most challenging and complex tasks any couple will ever face. With more than 20 years together, couples must contend with an array of issues such as intimacy, personality changes, kids & grandkids, active vs inactive lifestyle and much more that arise over time. It can be hard to devise answers for these predicaments, yet it is attainable if you have the right resources and information at your disposal. In this article, we'll explore 6 tips for navigating difficult times in a long marriage; from finding common ground with your spouse to exploring different forms of therapy that may help bring back connection between two partners who've been married for many years.
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It’s over…Well, at least the logistical act of “breaking up” has occurred. Making the decision was tough enough, and actually enacting that decision was perhaps even harder, but nothing really feels “over” about the huge transition you’re facing right now. You may have expected to feel relieved or empowered, but the initial rush of getting what you thought would be the hard part out of the way has faded and left you with uncertainty. Is there a best way to grieve a relationship? How does one effectively move on? In other words: “Now what??”
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What are some of the characteristics of HSPs? We don't like loud noises, making mistakes, we need reassurance, are easily startled, it takes us longer to adjust to significant life changes, we feel overwhelmed when there’s a lot going on at once, and other’s moods deeply affect us. We also have strong emotional attunement and empathy. We care more! Being a parent means there’s constant chaos, rushing, less time for basic needs like eating/sleeping/bathing much, limited time for self-care, huge changes, hourly and persistent loud noises. When challenges are not addressed, this can lead to emotional reactivity, guilt, struggles with anxiety/depression, feeling lonely/disconnected and low self-value.
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Throughout my time in this field, more specifically through my work with teens over the years, I have come to notice the most cyclical struggle that continues to emerge as time goes on is lack of confidence. I tend to see a lot of over-caring what people think in conjunction with wanting to impress others. That being said, I thought I’d take this time to first share what I think are contributing factors to this (sometimes lifelong) dilemma, as well as some tips and tricks on what I feel have been most useful in getting teens out of that funk.
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Do you experience cycles of emotional overwhelm? Does it feel like things will be running relatively smoothly and then all-of-a-sudden you’re slammed with anxiety and overwhelm and spend the next few days or weeks trying to recover? You might be thinking “Why can’t I just be normal all the time?” Well I’d like to offer some perspective on what might be contributing to this cycle and how you might break it.
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