1614 X St., Suite A
Sacramento, CA 95818
US
916-287-3430
ivy@thrivetherapyandcounseling.com
Thrive Therapy & Counseling provides high quality therapy to Highly Sensitive People and to kids, teens or adults struggling with anxiety, depression or self-esteem.
This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves. There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!
Filtering by Category: diving deep
Life is so full of ups and downs. Progress is not a simple straightforward thing. Sometimes we take wonderful leaps forward. And sometimes we stumble back. The most important thing is not whether or not we stumble but what we choose to do after. Do we become disheartened? Do we give up? Do we throw in the towel?
Read MoreIn April, I wrote about supporting teens in a seemingly unstable world. Since then, most would agree that the world at large hasn’t gotten any more normal. Dysfunctional politics, news of humanitarian disasters and inhumane conflicts, illusionment through social media, the looming threat of unaddressed climate change, inflation and economic stress; these are part of our shared reality, the boat we’re all in together.
Read MoreFor too many of us, shame brings order to the world -- order feels like control and control feels like safety. But it's the type of safety that results from hypervigilance to threat -- an illusory safety in which we give up our enjoyment of the present moment for constant reassurance that we are not being harmed. This reassurance is so fleeting that we must constantly chase it, and that can be exhausting.
Read MoreHave you ever thought, "If only I had a partner, then I'd be happy"? Or maybe you've imagined how much better life would be if you were out with friends. Many of us imagine that in some other version of our lives the grass is greener, but what might be the consequences of this belief?
Read MoreDo you believe you should be able to please everyone all the time? Do you become angry with yourself or intensely embarrassed when you make mistakes? You might have some perfectionistic tendencies. Where does perfectionism come from? And how do we begin to transform our perfectionism into discernment, self-care, and respect?
What's interesting is that even in our worry about whether or not we belong--we belong. All people have these concerns. All people want to be accepted and understood and precisely because it matters so much, it will sometimes keep us up at night. We will cry out in the depths of our loneliness, "Do people like me?"
Regret is an experience none of us escapes. It can be momentary or take up significant portions of our lives. For many of us, it contains feelings of grief, loss, and despair. Whatever the case, it is significant and can leave us feeling lost in the woods. How do we find our way?
"What if I don't like myself?" "What if I hate myself sometimes?" So many of us experience this and wonder if there is something deeply, deeply wrong with us. I've thought about it a lot recently and while I don't believe I have "the answer", I think the answer I have might be helpful for some.
Read MoreWe live in a very polarized culture. In the U.S., popular discourse seems to be dominated by overly simplistic descriptions of complex situations and people. Who among us has been glad we were not the ones being called out or criticized online? Perhaps we've even participated in criticizing others for being "toxic" or some other popular term for people we despise.
Read More“What’s wrong with me?!” “This should be easier!” “I shouldn’t feel this way!” Sound familiar? Even if you’re not aware that you tell yourself these things, you might be familiar with the feelings they bring up: frustration, exasperation, anxiety, disappointment, hopelessness. They all share the same basic belief – I am not good enough. When we struggle, sometimes we’re hard on ourselves for struggling; we want to rush through uncomfortable feelings and be done with them! Little do we know, our effort to rid ourselves of these uncomfortable feelings might be making them more intense!
Read MoreDo you ever feel frustrated when you're trying to figure out where the voice of your inner critic came from? Or why it's so strong? Perhaps your therapist has even asked you this in sessions and you repeatedly draw a blank. This can be so frustrating when we're trying to make sense of things and find some relief.
Read MoreThe Tower. One of the most feared images and archetypes in the Tarot. A symbol of significant, profound change, often unwanted and unexpected. The kind of change that might invite symptoms that meet criteria for an adjustment disorder. Debilitating sadness, grief, fear, dread, anger, confusion. All difficult feelings we might experience with a life altering moment such as a death, a trauma, divorce, eviction, a traumatic injury, or job loss. When we are in the throes of The Tower, it can be difficult to see which way is up and which way is down. It requires a certain kind of surrender as these walls come crashing down, for resisting this change would only lead to injury or destruction.
Read MoreThroughout my time in private practice, I have come to notice a theme amongst my clients around their self-worth. More specifically, what it is tied to, which tends to be their productivity and net worth. I heard a quote once that really resonated with me and it stated that most people these days “wear their burnout like a badge of honor”. I am not sure about you, but that is not a badge I would like to earn (former girl scout speaking here) and it pains me to know how many of us do this so consciously and willingly. When people equate their net worth with their self-worth, I have witnessed a plethora of mental health issues including; difficulty being present, sitting with oneself and struggles with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
Read MoreEver feel like you’re just not as far along as you should be with managing things like finances, your health, or care for yourself and your home? Is it a struggle to motivate? Are you scared to ask for help from other adults because they might judge you? There might be good reasons you’re feeling this way and they might stem from childhood.
Read MoreA core belief is a deeply rooted and often subconscious perception of ourselves and the world around us. These beliefs act like a filter through which we view ourselves and our actions and judge them as good or bad. These belief systems are shaped by our experiences and our interpretations of these experiences. Many of us develop negative core beliefs. This is when we start to believe that something is inherently bad or wrong with us or the world around us. For example: “I am worthless” “I am not good enough” “I have to be perfect” “I cannot trust others”. These beliefs are often generalizations about things that we may even logically recognize as inaccurate.
Read More