Supporting Ourselves in Troubled Times
Ivy Griffin
In April, I wrote about supporting teens in a seemingly unstable world. Since then, most would agree that the world at large hasn’t gotten any more normal. Dysfunctional politics, news of humanitarian disasters and inhumane conflicts, illusionment through social media, the looming threat of unaddressed climate change, inflation and economic stress; these are part of our shared reality, the boat we’re all in together.
Therapists frequently have the experience of clients coming to a session and, with a pained or bewildered expression, noting how “insane everything is” or sharing that “the world feels like it’s ending”, before quickly shifting to a seemingly more discrete and manageable topic—an addiction, a difficult break up, childhood trauma. If these things cause stress in my life, they’re my problems, right? They’re separate from the outside world; I have a responsibility to work on my life, or so psychotherapy with its individualistic orientation would teach us.
But current events, politics, the economy—these issues don’t just burden us by occupying our time. Much like childhood trauma or an insecure attachment style, certain events are not under our direct control but still have profound and often intimate impacts on our emotional life, our values, identities and worldviews. We have attachments to other individuals and we also cultivate an attachment to society at large (which is governed, as I was told in high school civics class, by a social contract that we all have hypothetically agreed to, passively if not actively). Because of this, I argue that the collective is equally as relevant to your therapy as the individual.
So what to do about this? How to cope, much less thrive? Here are a few suggestions of things to reflect on. All of them together might not be for you, but each represents a different way of addressing hopelessness, alienation and listlessness.
Coping: This would be in the self-care realm (feel free to sigh if this is the 8th time you’ve encountered the term “self-care” today). If you have avoided talking to your therapist about the state of the world because it doesn’t seem like you can “do anything about it”, maybe you have identified an important truth: there are real limits to your ability to right what is wrong in the world. So how useful are the hours you spend exposing yourself to various crises? Are you living up to your value of being an informed citizen, or scratching some other itch? How often do you engage in activities you know to be nourishing? When was the last time you did something simple that had a tangible effect on a friend or loved one? You may do so very often and just not notice it, or choose not to validate your impact on others’ lives.
Sublimation: Consider this particular defense mechanism. The anxiety, fear, or anger when we witness injustice might seem like unproductive drives, but they could be used as jumping-off points. Tap into your creative side by writing, drawing, making art or music. Or align your values with your behaviors, take direct action, and invite others in.
Beyond the here and now: Spirituality, myth, religion, art, history, philosophy, nature and science all point toward some truths, if we are willing to approach them: namely, that we are more interconnected than our alienated society acknowledges; that life presents concrete ways to cultivate our inner dreams and outer desires; that we have the choice to foster connection with neighbors and bring collective power to bear on the crises of our day; and that we have the opportunity to accept what is larger than us, what came before us and will exist after us.
Bottom line is that you’re not crazy to feel crazed in the present moment. And you’re not alone. Try bringing your feelings to your therapist and honor them during your everyday life.
Warmly,
Joe Boyle, APCC #10514
Supervised by Danielle Kardum, LMFT
https://thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/joe-boyle