I just want things to roll off my back. I don’t want to feel so bothered by things anymore! How can I just let things go? Many of us know the feeling of rising emotion, like a tidal wave about to engulf us – your heart races, perhaps your face gets hot, and it takes all your strength not to dissolve in tears or explode in anger. When this happens, we feel powerless, alone or embarrassed, and we wish these feelings would just go away! But no matter how hard we try, no matter how often we tell ourselves “It’s no big deal”, these feelings keep returning again and again. How do we make lasting change?
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Hot weather impacts sleep, appetite, health, and mental health. As we trudge deeper into the summer season and the heat rises here in California to ridiculous heights, I felt it might be prudent to touch upon how some core factors we monitor in therapy may be impacted by the change in weather.
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“I feel like I don’t do enough to be as tired as I am”. “I did nothing all weekend and I’m still exhausted!” “Why do I need so much rest?” Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Many people are frustrated and confused by how depleted they continue to feel after down-time. They want to feel more energized and refreshed but can’t seem to get the restorative rest they need. Let’s look at why that might be!
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Do you experience cycles of emotional overwhelm? Does it feel like things will be running relatively smoothly and then all-of-a-sudden you’re slammed with anxiety and overwhelm and spend the next few days or weeks trying to recover? You might be thinking “Why can’t I just be normal all the time?” Well I’d like to offer some perspective on what might be contributing to this cycle and how you might break it.
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Do you ever feel like everybody needs something from you and all you want is time to yourself? Do you try to take time for yourself but struggle with guilt or worry about “neglecting” others? Finding the balance between our needs and others’ can be a struggle. Many of us have received messages from the time we were young to do as we’re told, that being “good” is saying “yes” to everyone, and that prioritizing ourselves is selfish. How can we be there for others without losing our minds? And how can we prioritize ourselves without feeling selfish.
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Do you often find yourself exhausted but you feel as though you haven’t done very much? Are there times during the day when you feel like your head is buzzing and you just want to press PAUSE on the entire world? You may be suffering from sensory overload.
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Dear sensitive one, do you have those days where you wake up worrying? Like, before you even open your eyes, the worry is taking over? “Ugh, there’s that meeting that I’m dreading.” “I have so much to do; how am I going to get through it all?” “I really wish I could just stay in bed forever.” “How am I going to manage?” Your stomach gets tied in knots or the butterflies take over, and your whole body feels tense before your feet even hit the floor.
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Do you have those moments when it feels like your entire body has been taken over by a feeling? When it doesn’t even matter if you know the feeling is out of proportion because it’s such an all-consuming tidal wave that you can’t begin stop it? I imagine most of us HSPs have had and will continue to have these moments—much to our chagrin. We hate them, right? I have that sense of “Wait, seriously?” when it starts to happen. Like, are you kidding me—I’m here—AGAIN?! But, that doesn’t make the tears subside.
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During this difficult time, I know many of us may not have the means to access ongoing mental health care or may have to re-prioritize our own mental health needs for the good of our loved ones. It's tough! So, I wanted to share what I have found to be helpful for myself and a practice I try to teach in sessions with my clients.
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This is such a bizarre and difficult time. I debated about whether to be one more source writing about COVID-19 and “shelter in place,” but I realized how could I not? All of our lives have changed dramatically in the last 4 weeks and continue to be impacted daily. It’s hard to believe that even when I wrote last month’s article, life was mostly proceeding as “normal.” Now, for the time being, our lives have shifted in ways most of us would have never imagined, and it makes sense that this change colors everything currently.
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As highly sensitive people (HSPs), we tend to question ourselves a lot. We think and wonder and analyze. Is this the best job for me? Am I happy? Am I a good parent/sibling/friend/partner/colleague? What’s the meaning of life? And of my life, in particular? Should I be doing _____ more? Am I with the right partner? Is this how I want to act with my family? Should I be doing things differently? Am I on the right track with my life??
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Your heart starts pounding. Your muscles tense. You get hot and start to sweat a little. It’s hard to think straight. You just want to get out of there ASAP. You, my sensitive friend, are in a moment of overwhelm.
Being overwhelmed is no fun for anyone, least of all highly sensitive people. When we human beings feel completely overloaded, our brains and bodies instantly go into survival mode.
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