One of the common myths about boundaries that I've confronted in my work with clients is that boundaries pertain to other people. Often, I have encountered people misinterpreting boundaries to essentially mean rules for other people's behavior. "You asked an uncomfortable question, so I'm going to shut down the conversation and cite a boundary as the reason," or "I blocked my former friend on text and social media because they kept making insensitive remarks." Maybe you’ve heard people say similar things in your own life. And to be clear, shutting down a conversation, or blocking or ghosting someone, is within your rights as a human being. But let's be clear: this isn't boundary setting. It’s withdrawal.
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When you imagine vulnerability, what do you think of? Do you imagine crying or being hurt? Or maybe you think of a child, or someone who is powerless or being mistreated. Vulnerability often elicits thoughts of hardship or being at-risk, neither of which are desirable to most people. What’s more, we live in a society in which control is prized and vulnerability is devalued, often being framed as a shortcoming or something to hide. All of this can lead us to suppress and avoid vulnerability at any cost. But instead of talking about the costs, let’s learn about 3 of the hidden benefits of embracing our vulnerability.
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You liked them on the call — so why didn’t it work? Here’s what therapeutic fit actually requires, and why most people are searching on the wrong signal.
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Searching for a therapist can feel like a second job. Here are the questions that actually tell you whether a therapist is the right fit — before you commit.
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Dreading having to explain your whole story to a new therapist? Here's how Thrive's intake process works — and why most clients never have to start over.
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Fawning is a survival mode we are more likely to enter when our mind determines the best course of action for safety and well being is to appease the threat instead of confronting (fight), avoiding (flight), or shutting down (freeze). When one is fawning, the self is suppressed often unconsciously (you may disconnect from your own thoughts, feelings, sensations/experiences, opinions, beliefs/moral code) and there is an attempt to keep the peace in order to avoid conflict by aligning more with the desires or will of the threat. From an outsider's perspective an fawning can look like co-dependence, people pleasing, and poor boundaries.
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Imagine that you’re at a party or gathering at a friend’s house. As a highly sensitive person, you may have felt some anxiety or dread about going to the party and having to make small talk. Some of the folks in attendance are friends, and you gravitate toward talking to them. But, you notice a couple of people who hang back and don’t seem to know many others. Your empathy kicks in, and you decide to go chat with them to help them feel more welcome. While you’re talking, another person or two joins in the conversation and brings up a political issue you care about deeply. As you passionately discuss the matter, you add in how you cannot understand anyone who thinks otherwise. The person you initially approached quietly says, “I disagree” and wanders away.
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Learn the difference between insurance therapy and private-pay therapy in Sacramento. Understand costs, flexibility, and how to choose the option that fits your goals.
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Struggling to find a therapist in Sacramento? Learn how to avoid common therapy-shopping dead ends, reduce overwhelm, and find the right therapist fit faster.
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Wondering what it's like to date a highly sensitive person? Learn the reality—emotional depth, connection, challenges, and how to make the relationship thrive.
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It's lunchtime and you're already exhausted. You say to yourself, “What is the matter with me? I've only had two short meetings so far!” It's not the first time you've felt this way – you often feel exhausted after short interactions with others. Even seemingly pleasant or neutral interactions stay with you long after-the-fact, or you find yourself trying to anticipate what might happen in future interactions. You think of yourself as caring and conscientious, but is there more to it?
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Living with an HSP isn’t hard—it's different. Learn how to support a highly sensitive partner and what not to say if you want them to feel safe and understood.
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Conflict overwhelms HSPs fast. Learn how to manage arguments, regulate your nervous system, and stay connected without shutting down or spiraling.
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Being an HSP changes how you bond, communicate, and handle conflict. Learn how sensitivity shapes relationship dynamics, and what helps you thrive.
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Discover the traits that make a partner truly compatible with a highly sensitive person. Learn what helps HSPs feel safe, calm, connected, and understood.
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You’ve been watching your kid struggle for so long. You know how important friendships are throughout life, especially during the teen years. You want to help them make friends in real life (not just online), but they get angry when you bring it up and don’t want to talk to you about it. You get that it’s awkward and they’re embarrassed, but it’s painful to watch. You constantly wonder how you can help.
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Discover why relationships feel harder for highly sensitive people. Learn how nervous system differences, emotional depth, and overstimulation affect connection and what helps.
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Don't get me wrong, the holidays can be a wonderful time of year. Or at least most of what the holidays are about. But sometimes they can be somewhat overwhelming. I like holiday music, but hearing it everywhere 24/7 for two months is too much for me. I also like holiday parties. But seven family gatherings, five friend parties and three work shebangs in one month can weigh me down.
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You’re several months into a new relationship (friend or romantic). You’ve enjoyed your time together, and you feel hopeful things will last. But something’s nagging at you. You find yourself feeling insecure when they don’t reply to your messages soon enough. You’ve noticed they often change or cancel your plans last-minute. You try to push away the anxiety and disappointment, telling yourself, “Don’t mess this up!” But ultimately, a familiar feeling of insecurity has crept in. “Why does this keep happening?” Relationships can be complicated in the best of circumstances, but when we’ve experienced repeated heartache or harm, they can feel like a vicious cycle. How do we make sense of things?
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As therapists, we get it. Teens are naturally drawn to their devices because of how their brain development drives their desire for intensity and immediacy, technology changes so quickly these days that it can feel impossible to keep track, and we don’t even fully know how this screen usage affects our brains because it’s all so new. And, teens aren’t alone. I hear from adults all the time who also struggle with how to take technology breaks because these things are designed to keep our attention.
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