Supporting Your Teen in a Busy Family
Ivy Griffin
Finding Connection in the Chaos
With today's packed schedules — parents juggling careers, teens balancing school, activities, and social lives — families often operate like ships passing in the night rather than a connected unit. It can be hard to find a feeling of connection when we’re all so busy with our own stuff.
Research consistently shows that parental involvement and support remain crucial during adolescence, even as teens naturally push for independence. So how can busy parents maintain meaningful connections with their teens? Here are some practical strategies to try out:
Create "micro-moments" of connection
You don't need hours of quality time to maintain your relationship. Brief, intentional interactions can be surprisingly powerful. A 5-minute check-in where you give your full attention (phones down!) can mean more than an hour of distracted time together. Ask specific questions about their day beyond, "How was school?" and really listen to the answers.
Leverage routine activities
Transform everyday necessities into opportunities for connection. Car rides can be great opportunities to chat — teens often open up more when you're side-by-side rather than face-to-face. Cooking dinner together once a week combines necessary meal prep with quality interaction. Even chores like folding laundry or taking out the trash can become opportunities to connect with the right approach.
Create predictable touchpoints
Even in chaotic schedules, establish some reliable connection points your teen can count on. Maybe it's Sunday morning breakfast, a monthly movie night, or a quick check-in in the evenings. These anchoring routines provide security and opportunities for communication when everything else feels unpredictable.
Validate their experience
Acknowledge that family busyness can be frustrating. Rather than dismissing their feelings with "everyone's busy," try: "I know our schedules make it hard to connect sometimes. I miss spending time with you too." This validation helps teens feel seen and understood rather than overlooked.
Be fully present when you are together
When you do have time together, even for those small moments, be mentally present rather than distracted by work emails or household tasks. Teens can tell when you're only half-listening, and it reinforces the message that other things take priority.
Support their independence appropriately
Busy family schedules often require teens to develop independence earlier. Frame this positively — "I trust you to handle this" — while still providing appropriate supervision and support. Look for opportunities to acknowledge their growing maturity and responsibility.
Remember that connection doesn't require elaborate plans or perfect parenting. Most teens simply want to know they matter to you and that you're available when they need you. Even in the busiest seasons, small gestures of attentiveness and care can maintain your relationship and provide the emotional security your teen needs to thrive.
Many of us are juggling so much these days, and this becomes increasingly challenging when raising a family. Just trying out a couple strategies to increase connection in small ways can make such a positive impact for teens–and parents!
Warmly,
Lauren Ash , AMFT #140948
(she/hers)
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714