The term “Mental Health Day” has grown in popularity over the past few years.  This typically means taking sick time off work to treat our mental health with the same care and attention as our physical health.  Whether the intention is to take care of a family member (or just spend some extra quality time), relax and sleep in to relieve stress, or to regroup after a long week, taking care of our mental health is now more important than ever. 

With today's packed schedules—parents juggling careers, teens balancing school, activities, and social lives—families often operate like ships passing in the night rather than a connected unit. It can be hard to find a feeling of connection when we’re all so busy with our own stuff.

There is often a disconnect between the convenience of the modern world and the distress we witness in many of our teens. They have so much knowledge, entertainment, and capability at their fingertips and yet, many of them seem to struggle with overwhelm and paralysis around life tasks and social emotional connection and growth. How do we support them while also helping them to be more capable, confident, connected human beings? Here are 3 ways to build resiliency in teens.

If you’ve been in a school, at a doctor’s office, or even frequented social media lately, you may have noticed that ADHD has been getting a lot of attention in recent years. While there is a bit of controversy about whether ADHD is over- or under-diagnosed, there’s no question that it’s on a lot of peoples’ minds these days.

As a parent, watching your teen begin the complex journey of self-discovery and identity development can feel like an emotional roller coaster. At times you may feel at odds with their means of self-expression or find it challenging to broach the conversation about identity with your teen who feels more resistant to opening up than ever before. Finding the balance between respecting your teens' unique journey and desire for greater independence with guidance and support can feel like an impossible juggling act!

Think about a recent conversation you had with your teenager - especially if the topic was a difficult one to broach or one with a history of tension or conflict. Did it feel tough to “get through” to your teen? Or perhaps the attempt to check in lead to an explosive fight, after which you find yourself seething and thinking (or, let’s face it, yelling) “how dare you talk to me that way!” Everyone has a different approach, or primary style, to navigating communication and conflict. Which one is your teen’s go-to?

Let’s be honest. Being a teenager right now is hard. You’re coming of age during a time of intense political threat, global challenges, and constant social pressure. The world feels like it’s spinning faster than ever, and somehow, you’re supposed to figure out who you are in the middle of the chaos.

As our children shift into preteen and teen years, simple things like completing chores, doing tasks that they always did before sometimes become more difficult. You ask them to do something and you get a big fat NO. Oh god, and it’s so frustrating. Any parent can agree I think. 

As a parent, watching your teenager go through a breakup can be heart-wrenching. You want to help, but it’s not clear how to best reach them. It’s important to understand that adolescence is a time of intense emotions which is why a first breakup can feel like the end of the world. Parents play a crucial role in helping teens navigate this challenging time. So, what can you do?

Parenting tweens and teens can feel like walking a tightrope at times — juggling being protective without being overbearing. You need to give them space to make their own choices (and sometimes mistakes) as they grow more independent, but this can be a particularly difficult situation to navigate when your child is tangled in what appears to be a toxic friendship.

Are you a parent who struggles to talk or with your teen? If the answer is yes I’m sure you won’t be shocked that you are not alone!  Sometimes it can feel like teenagers speak an entirely different language.  The teenage years can be so complicated, so many ups and downs, so much misunderstanding!  And in times of distress as a parent it is normal to want to have control, to experience anxiety for your child’s future and to focus on all the “ you shoulds” and “you need to”.  But when we focus so hard on who we want our teenager to be and what we believe they should do we miss out on their own authentic evolution and this often exacerbates self doubt and can even push them further away. 

It feels like just yesterday summer kicked off to a raucous start and now for families with teens summer is coming closer to winding down. And with the close of summer on the horizon, I would encourage you to start planting seeds with your teens about the return to school, especially if they had a difficult time last year or tend to struggle in school historically. Reflection is a key part of developing mindful awareness, and doing so will not only support your teen in navigating potential pitfalls more effectively but help designate you as someone they can come to if and when they need support. There are a few key factors to keep in mind when attempting this.

As a therapist who works with teens, a constant experience I hear from parents is the struggle to truly connect with them. The adolescent years can be a complex time for both teens and parents as teens are navigating a newfound desire for independence. This experience can leave the parent-child relationship feeling strained and distant. However, fostering a strong bond and quality time can provide benefits for a teen’s overall well-being.

If your teen is in therapy for the first time, you might wonder what’s going on during those first few sessions, and your teen might be wondering what to expect when talking to a therapist for the first time. It makes sense to be curious or even nervous for this new experience. Building rapport is an important part of therapy, and especially important when working with teens. Making a true connection with someone is a vital first step towards effective therapy. Everyone is different, but it usually takes a few sessions to start to build a sense of trust and comfort with a new therapist. This is especially true for teens, who might be apprehensive about attending therapy to begin with. Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re a teen or a parent of a teen who has questions about what those first few sessions might look like: 

Have you been finding it hard to motivate yourself to go to and stay in school? More than just your typical I don't want to, because let's keep it real, school isn't always the most fun place to be. If this speaks to you, you are not alone! This experience is called school refusal. School refusal is when a teenager or any school-aged person, consistently refuses to go to school or has difficulty staying in school for the full day. It goes beyond occasional truancy or wanting to skip class occasionally. It often involves intense emotional distress or anxiety related to attending school. This distress can manifest in physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or other complaints.

It's no secret that being a teenager is hard. In fact, acknowledging this has been a practical cliché for generations. Mental and emotional stressors originating in biology—growth and change across late childhood and adolescence—are understandably important factors. But so are environmental factors, the pressures put on teens by social forces like education, the economy, technology, and increased connectivity to an uncertain world. 

Do you see your teen lounging around--eyes glued to their phone constantly--and worry about what kind of adult they’re going to become? You might be frustrated with your kid’s low energy , with their ability to sleep 17 hours a day, or with how you have to tell them 8 times to unload the dishwasher, and you wonder when they’ll finally get it together.

Dear parents,

Here are answers to more frequently asked questions that often pop up for parents searching for services for their child/teen. I hope these insights can help you as you begin sussing out what you are looking for therapeutically.

As therapists, we are aware that it can be overwhelming and anxiety provoking trying to navigate the mental health system for your child – especially if you have never had contact with any kind of mental health support in the past. In hopes of supporting you as you start this journey, here are the answers to some frequently asked therapy questions.

There’s an app for just about everything at this point so it should come as no surprise that there are apps for venting. When it comes to our teens, the idea of letting them venture into yet another unknown social media realm can feel daunting. So here are a few things to keep in mind if your teen asks to download a venting app, or shares that they have.

As a parent, watching your teen begin the complex journey of self-discovery and identity development can feel like an emotional roller coaster. At times you may feel at odds with their means of self-expression or find it challenging to broach the conversation about identity with your teen who feels more resistant to opening up than ever before. Finding the balance between respecting your teens' unique journey and desire for greater independence with guidance and support can feel like an impossible juggling act!

Teens have a lot of pressure on them these days. They’re a generation that’s more “on” and connected than ever before. They can feel pressure from friends and peers to constantly be available online and responding to messages (or risk missing out on important social happenings), they may feel the stress of navigating AP classes or taking college classes in conjunction with their regular high school coursework, and many teens can fixate on worrying about their SAT/ACT scores, GPAs, extra-curriculars, athletics, and what all of those mean for what colleges they will get into. Many teens believe that making the “right” decisions around college will dictate the course of their entire lives, their income, and their future happiness.

Sometimes it can seem like teens completely tune out (or want nothing to do with) adults, especially authority figures, even more so--their parents. This can leave parents feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. “He’s not getting his homework done, but how am I supposed to get him on the right track when he won’t listen to me?!” “She seems irritable and agitated a lot these days, but when I ask what’s wrong, she rolls her eyes or grumbles, ‘nothing.’ How do I get through to her?”

Maybe you don’t trust them - they seem controlling, clingy, or possessive. Perhaps you don’t like how your teenager acts differently around them, like a totally different person with different interests and tastes and even style. It could also be that you’ve noticed other changes in your teen since this new love interest came into the picture, such as acting secretive, reclusive, or moody. Or it’s just that your teen and their date are moving way too fast, getting too serious and overly involved at the expense of everything else. After all, they’re only teenagers!

How do we help our kids appreciate technology without becoming all consumed by it? We live in this world of constant connectivity to our devices, and it can be hard for all of us to put the phone down and slowly back away. This is especially true for our teens, since they’re digital natives. They truly don’t know what life was like when you couldn’t just google everything, text a friend, or watch a youtube video to learn what to do. 

Perhaps you have considered medication for your teen or perhaps someone else suggested it might be worth looking into. And maybe on this subject your feelings are mixed, or you have historically been hesitant to consider the idea. I encourage you to explore and consider your resistance- where does it stem from? Was it a bad personal experience, a horror story about a friend or family member that tried, or is it a lack of knowledge on the subject?

We all experience grief at different points in our lives and in various layers and complexities. When a loved one dies, there’s the obvious gut-wrenching grief that can feel all-consuming. If we move away, there’s the loss of proximity to friends and the community we’ve built plus the loss of the familiar - our home, routines, places we frequent - that can all bring grief, even if it arrives in conjunction with excitement and hope for the future. We also feel grief when relationships end, whether it’s a friendship that comes to a close or a break-up of a romantic relationship, all those same waves of denial, sadness, anger, bargaining, and acceptance may come up again and again as we adjust to how life is different and what we miss about that relationship. 

There are many factors to consider when thinking about teen substance use, such as which substances are being used, the environment in which they are used, frequency, and possibly most importantly, the reason they are being used. All of these factors are interrelated and thus must be considered together when trying to understand substance use. For the purposes of this blog however, the focus will be on understanding why teens may use substances and how this impacts development.

Have you noticed a shift in your teens' day-to-day routine and mood? Getting them out the door for school may feel like the same battle each morning as they tearfully beg you to let them stay home again. You may have noticed your teen is increasingly holed up in their room uninterested in hanging out with friends or more reluctant than usual to join the family. Or maybe you’ve heard your frustrated teen complain about being unable to get to sleep, furthering the challenge of getting them moving in the morning. These behaviors may be signs of underlying anxiety that leave you feeling helpless and desperate for solutions to help get your child feeling like themselves again. If so, here are a few tools for supporting your teen through anxiety…