Do you find yourself ruminating on things a friend or a loved one has said or done long after the moment has passed? Do you try to “let things go” only to find the memory and the feelings of what happened resurface with more intensity? Many highly sensitive people (HSP) get the message that we’re too sensitive, causing us to question our feelings and expectations toward others. How do we know what reasonable expectations look like? Read on for 3 helpful tips for navigating relationship expectations as an HSP. 

I’ve been sick on and off for the past month. It began with a single symptom, as most sicknesses do, and has since progressed into a whirlwind of Doctors’ visits, testing endeavors with conflicting results, an unrelated COVID exposure and period of isolation, a resurgence of the original ailment, and a whole lot of uncertainty. Being ill is unpleasant for anyone, but as a highly sensitive person it can be hard not to feel downright pathetic with the intensity of just how bad things feel - not just physically, but emotionally. If you’re also an HSP and feel especially “fragile” during times of illness, you’re not alone!

Have you ever gone on a handful of dates with someone, hopeful that the budding relationship would blossom, only to find that weeks later, none of your messages or calls to them are answered? Or has a friend at school suddenly cut off all communication with no explanation, and is now avoiding you in the community? Maybe you have felt such intense disconnection from someone that you can no longer maintain a relationship—yet the thought of reaching out to explain this to them fills you with so much dread that you’re considering just deleting their contact info and sweeping it all under the rug?

For people who identify as highly sensitive or empathic, intense embarrassment and shame might be particularly difficult experiences. Making a mistake can be followed by intense physical sensations and emotions: your face gets hot, your heart rate spikes, and sometimes you may even want to disappear. While this is normal and might even feel manageable for some, people who are highly sensitive may struggle to recover from these feelings.

As highly sensitive people (HSPs), we are especially prone to overwhelm and burnout. It can feel as though the world moves too fast, speaks too loudly, and asks too much. A powerful way to honor your sensitivity is by creating intentional rituals. Rituals are not about productivity or performance; rather, they’re about creating containers of safety, softness, and meaning. They help mark transitions, calm the nervous system, and create a sense of continuity in a world that often feels unpredictable.

Have you ever wondered if maybe you were a highly sensitive person (HSP) but felt like some of the traits just didn’t seem to fit?  Perhaps certain aspects such as sensitivity to stimuli, emotional depth, empathy, and a need for introverted time and a rich inner life really resonate with you. On the other hand, maybe you also seek adventure, thrills, a need to immerse yourself in new experiences.  Perhaps sometimes you find yourself bored or even a little depressed when life becomes small or too mundane.  Maybe you sometimes feel torn between going out and staying in, or you crave novelty and excitement while you also want to feel assured and know what to expect. Sometimes the highly sensitive person is not just highly sensitive, but is also high sensation seeking (HSS). 

I wake up sweaty and tense. I’ve had another dream about wandering through a hotel as I desperately try to get to my room. The catch is that the hotel keeps changing. The stairways move, levels don’t connect, elevators only go to certain floors and they constantly change course.

I’m up against terrible odds, and this seemingly easy task of going to my room has become a nightmare. No matter how much I try, the circumstances keep changing, and there’s so much that’s out of my control. 

There is enough to contend with being an HSP in a healthy and functioning world, but what do you do when the world feels like it’s unraveling? When it feels like every few minutes there is a news update about a cataclysmic natural disaster, ongoing conflict in war torn countries, reversals in civil rights policy, and increasing division in the world, what pressure do we put on ourselves? Do we expect ourselves to be unimpacted, to separate emotionally, to not react or respond. Being a highly sensitive person means we are highly attuned and keyed into the world around us — so naturally, an HSP would pick up on the intense emotional experience happening in the world right now and have a correlating reaction to it.

Have you been feeling worn down, burned out, or exhausted to your very core? Most of us have been there, we’re there right now, or we’ll be there again. As Hemingway wrote, “the world breaks everyone.” Being human means that we’ll know loss and struggle, that there’ll be times when life goes along smoothly and times when it’s all we can do to slowly inch our way forward.

What comes to mind when you think of someone who is described as “sensitive”? Something in the realm of overly emotional, weak, or fragile? If so, you’re not alone. In a world that often glorifies toughness, sensitivity is frequently misunderstood and sometimes even dismissed as a flaw. But here’s the truth: sensitivity is not a liability—it’s a strength that allows people to process the world deeply, form meaningful connections, and navigate life with heightened awareness.

Empathy is a wonderful and essential human trait. It allows us to connect with others, offer support, and foster meaningful relationships. But for those who tend to be over-attuned to others, a common trait in highly sensitive people, empathy can sometimes feel more like a burden than a gift. Over-attunement refers to an excessive focus on other people’s emotions, often at the expense of one’s own needs. This pattern can lead to emotional exhaustion, resentment, and a sense of losing oneself in relationships. So how can we find balance? Let’s explore the roots of over-attunement, its impact, and practical strategies for balancing empathy with self-care.

It’s no secret that we live in very polarized times. The news and social media are awash with stories of strong views and behavior. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), you may feel reluctant to express disagreement, for fear of upsetting others. Being highly attuned to others’ emotions makes it hard to shrug off intense reactions, especially if they’re directed at you. You feel a strong desire to maintain harmony, but you worry about the impact of staying silent, especially on issues about which you feel strongly. What can you do?

It’s that time of year - the days are shorter and shorter, there’s less sunlight and more darkness, the temperature drops. If you’re like me, you may feel an internal dread, an urge to push the winter away and return to sunnier, warmer, longer days. As highly sensitive people, we can be particularly attuned to the change in seasons. This awareness can be really enjoyable when the seasons are shifting in a way we like and can bring a heaviness, an anxiety, or even a foreboding, when they’re changing in ways we don’t like.

How did that make you feel? What’s coming up for you now? How did you manage that situation? 

If you’ve been to therapy even once before, chances are you’ve encountered one or all of the phrases above. And that makes sense. A competent therapist is going to draw attention to your strengths, your thoughts and physical sensations, your feelings. Common denominator: You.

I don't want to be a burden. I don't wanna put my stuff on other people.  I don't want to seem weak or needy.

These phrases might be familiar if you've learned that it's not okay to have needs, or that others’ needs are more important than yours. There are a number of reasons this might be the case: you might be an HSP (highly sensitive person), you might have grown up in a family where needs weren't discussed, you might have received messages from the dominant culture that your needs are unimportant, maybe all of the above. You might believe that the only way you can get love is by suppressing your needs, but it actually might be hurting your relationships.  

Have you read the articles and know that practicing mindfulness or meditation is good for you? Maybe you’ve tried sitting quietly and focusing on your breathing, and you suddenly have 1,000 thoughts running through your head, which quickly turn into worries and leave you feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

Do you remember how it felt when you did something you loved as a kid? Like, the kind of play that really used to light you up? The thing that you always looked forward to or daydreamed about? 

As HSPs, we’re often so highly attuned that we experience overwhelm due to a constant stream of emotional and sensory input. We pick up on body language, subtle changes or details in our environment, and the needs and emotions of others. For some of us, we’re also acutely aware of our own needs and emotions, but for others, this may be a struggle. How does it impact us when we receive lots of external input, but struggle to attune to ourselves? And how can better attuning to ourselves actually reduce some of the overwhelm we experience?

Have I mentioned that I hate small talk? I can handle about 30 seconds of it, and then . . . I’m boooored. The meaningless banter makes me wish I was at home reading a good book. But, give me some depth, catch my interest on a topic, go beyond the ordinary chatter, and I’m hooked. I love stories SO much.  I could listen for hours as a story unfolds. Yes, it’s one of the reasons I became a therapist, and it’s one of the gifts of therapy—we very quickly move past the shallow small talk and dig into what’s real and what matters. As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), this stirs my soul. I come alive with such deep and meaningful conversations.

As highly sensitive people (HSPs), we may know ourselves to be conscientious, thoughtful, empathic and attuned to others’ emotional states. We might also be aware that these qualities make us much less likely to treat others harshly. Thus, experiencing uncomfortable emotions like resentment or jealousy or learning that we’ve hurt someone’s feelings may be particularly difficult for us. We may even start to question ourselves, “How could I feel this way? What’s wrong with me?” Let’s dive a little deeper to learn why we might feel this way and how we can better understand ourselves.

It’s fair to say we’ve all felt it - an imbalance in the ratio of available time to the number of tasks on the list to complete and all the stress that comes with it. While time scarcity can be overwhelming for anyone experiencing it, there are a number of reasons why it can take a greater toll on those of us who are highly sensitive. As HSPs, we tend to have an intensified response to stress in general, not to mention how our tendency toward deep processing and introspection can warrant a slower pace for decision making and task processes.

As highly sensitive people (HSPs), our brains and bodies stay on the alert, noticing all sorts of details about what’s happening around us. For myself and many HSPs I know, the line between being aware versus overly alert, on edge, and tense can sometimes be very thin. 

Are you in a relationship with someone who identifies as a highly sensitive person (HSP)? If so, it may not come as news to you that HSPs possess a finely tuned nervous system, making them more attuned to the stimuli, emotions, and subtleties in their environment that can lead to faster overwhelm, burnout, and disconnection than their non-HSP counterparts. Unfortunately, the trait “sensitive” often carries a negative connotation in our culture, and to identify as such has been viewed as a weakness or character flaw historically. The reality, however, is that HSPs bring incredible strengths to relationships like heightened empathy, creativity, and a deep capacity for connection. This blog explores strategies for supporting your partner and nurturing a strong, fulfilling relationship.

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) often possess high levels of empathy, excellent listening skills, and compassion which make us wonderful friends and confidants. But what do we do when we become emotional dumping grounds for others? How do we recognize when this is happening and how can we protect ourselves?

Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) possess the unique ability to experience the world with deep curiosity and intensity, often making us more attuned to life’s subtleties. In a reality filled with noise and chaos, HSPs navigate emotions in creative ways. For us sensitive souls, music goes beyond the background noise and becomes a therapeutic force - offering solace and comfort. Here are a few ways…

I can’t count how many times I’ve received unsolicited commentary about my sensitivity, especially when attempting to assert a boundary or need. Historically, these comments have come from someone I had some sort of ongoing relationship with but only came up in response to my need or boundary. It’s almost as if my “sensitivity” wasn’t a problem until that very moment. Unfortunately, this experience is all too familiar to many of us. I’d like to offer a different perspective than the problem-saturated, blaming point-of-view we’re used to and hopefully create a little relief or at least clarity for readers. 

Are you a highly sensitive person who struggles with chronic, free floating anxiety and tension? Do you also struggle to identify what's causing your anxiety? Perhaps you don't recognize that you're anxious but feel compelled to stay busy as much as possible. These might be the effects of childhood emotional neglect, also known as CEN. 

Exploring different parts of yourself as a highly sensitive person (HSP) requires a compassionate and gentle approach. HSPs often experience emotions and sensations more intensely, which can make self-exploration a deeply enriching yet potentially overwhelming experience. What does it mean to explore different parts of the self? Let’s break it down in a more comprehensible way. We, as humans feel a spectrum of emotions, have the ability to have coherent narratives and are conscious of our ability to connect with others. As an HSP you may have a heightened awareness of your emotions, thoughts, and energetic connection to others, which can then make it overwhelming when multiple experiences are happening at once. You may be hyper-aware of your inner critic, doubt, or empathetic nature. Taking the observer role when feelings, thoughts, or sensations come up will help to determine what part of the self is showing up (i.e. part that's judgmental, part that is hopeful, part that is powerless, and the list goes on!). Know that self-exploration is a lifelong process and with communal support, self-compassion, radical acceptance, and self trust, it can allow for a gentle journey. 

As a Highly Sensitive Person, it is common to find yourself overwhelmed by everyday experiences in our highly stimulating and demanding world. While your empathic nature allows you to connect deeply with others, it also makes you susceptible to anxiety and emotional overload. However, there’s a furry four-legged (or scaly, feathered, winged, finned) companion you can always turn to - your pet. Our pets offer much more than just companionship; they can be a source of comfort and healing for HSPs struggling with anxiety. If you’re an HSP with a pet you adore or an HSP considering bringing a pet into your life, this blog is for you! 

How did that make you feel? What’s coming up for you now? How did you manage that situation? 

If you’ve been to therapy even once before, chances are you’ve encountered one or all of the phrases above. And that makes sense. A competent therapist is going to draw attention to your strengths, your thoughts and physical sensations, your feelings. Common denominator: You.