Living with anxiety
Ivy Griffin
As highly sensitive people (HSPs), our brains and bodies stay on the alert, noticing all sorts of details about what’s happening around us. For myself and many HSPs I know, the line between being aware versus overly alert, on edge, and tense can sometimes be very thin.
We sensitive folks also tend to have rich inner lives and think about, contemplate, and ponder all sorts of matters really deeply. All of this thinking can quickly move from an enjoyable pastime to being consuming and overwhelming. Many of us relate to the idea of overthinking - because it can feel like our brains never stop. Overthinking, especially when it becomes fixated on problems or what could go wrong, can be exhausting and adds all sorts of stress to our lives.
Then, consider your own personality and life experiences. For some of us, it can feel like we’re simply “wired” to be more anxious. I think this can be especially true if you tend to be a bit perfectionistic and a high achiever (always working on these things myself!). And don’t forget the real role genetics play in our temperaments.
Plus, there’s the whole impact of the environments we’re in. Lots of workplaces have dynamics that amp up our anxiety, nevermind the reality of having our performance evaluated - which can make us perform worse (research proves it)!
Sprinkle in experiences from your childhood. Did you grow up in a family that wasn’t so great at understanding or meeting your needs? That can easily happen, since our society doesn’t understand or put a lot of value on our sensitivity (even though it’s viewed as a strength in some other cultures).
Or worse yet, have you been around a lot of people who gave you the message - explicitly or implicitly - that your sensitivity is a problem?
No wonder you keep feeling anxious!
Please hear that it is very understandable that you, as a sensitive person, may be living with anxiety. There are all of the above factors happening inside of us and in the world around us that contribute to anxiety.
And, some amount of anxiety is 100% normal as a human being.
But, what about when our natural tendencies cross the line into problematic anxiety?
Here are some things I find helpful:
Distraction - As my dear colleague Leigh Johnson has said, If you don’t give your brain something to chew on, it will chew on itself. This can be so true for HSPs. When I find my thoughts are stuck on the same worry, when I’m in a spiral of all-the-bad-things, or when I notice that my thoughts are making me feel like crap, it helps me to get out of my own head. Listening to a podcast or audio book, singing along to music, doing a Wordle or playing Solitaire, talking to a friend, watching a show - even turning on the subtitles and making yourself read the dialogue - can all offer a helpful escape. If you’re concerned about getting too caught up in distraction, remember that distraction is a good coping tool when it is planned and temporary.
Mindfulness and meditation - I think of mindfulness like exercising your brain - the more you do it, the easier it becomes (but sometimes you won’t feel like doing it at all AND it’s still good if you do it anyway). It’s easy to get overwhelmed if you think meditation means you have to clear your mind of thoughts, but that’s actually not the premise. Being mindful is simply about noticing what is happening right here, right now. It’s a practice of observing and letting the observations float on by like clouds in the sky. Mindfulness practices can help relax your body on a physiological level with your brain sending messages to your nervous system that all is well. There are so many ways to be mindful, but some of my favorites are:
Name 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel on your skin, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste
Listening to guided meditation like UCLA’s free meditations or finding ones you like on Insight Timer
Square breathing - breathe in for a count of 4, hold your breath for 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold your breath for 4, repeat a few times
Movement - All sorts of movement and exercise can be really helpful to release the tension in your body, and exercise that takes effort can mean we don’t have any energy for all that thinking. Go for a walk, and you combine the positive effects of endorphins and being in natural spaces, which are mood-boosting for all of us. Dance to a song you love. Put on a YouTube yoga video - I love Yoga with Kassandra for some gentle stretching. Or, sometimes I need to kickbox or run and imagine that I’m pounding out the anxiety. The key is to find what you enjoy and will feel good about doing on a consistent basis.
Redirection - For those days when my thoughts keep circling back to what’s making me anxious, it helps me to have something that engages my brain to refocus my thoughts on. This might be an upcoming activity I’m looking forward to, a memory of something I enjoyed, the characters in a book I’m reading or a show I’m watching, or one thing I want to accomplish today. Even though there’s a well-worn path to the anxious thoughts in my brain, I can remember that I have some choice in where I focus. And, it’s okay if I have to redirect again and again. Not every day will be as hard.
So, dear sensitive one, please know that you are not alone if you struggle with anxiety. There are so many reasons why anxiety may have a presence in your life, and there are things you can do to help yourself find more peace and reprieve.
And, if you ever need more support or help with honing in on your go-to strategies, we’re here for you.
Warmly,
Ivy
Founder/Director, CAMFT Certified Clinical Supervisor
she/her