“Calm down.”
“You’re too sensitive!”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
These sentiments are likely all too familiar to the highly sensitive person, and in particular the highly sensitive child. Growing up, I recall countless teary eyed instances of fighting - with little success - to try to restrain the expression of my emotions, only to be met with judgment and criticism from adults and fellow children alike. Often HSPs grow up to absorb these messages and take them on as our own, which can lead to the belief that we, and our feelings are, inherently “too much”. This can lead to self-blame and guilt, and the adoption of an almost default state of apologetic being. Even if logically we now know that sensitivity is not shameful and is even in many ways a strength, letting go of these internalized ideas can be difficult. Accepting one’s sensitivity can be a slow process, but here are a few ways to start.
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Why generic ‘anxiety therapy’ often doesn’t land for highly sensitive people — the mechanism is different, and so is the work. Plus four real questions you can ask on your next consult call.
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It takes everything I have to tear myself away from the news some days.
As a highly sensitive person (HSP), I care deeply about the world — and about how I show up in it. Stories of violence, injustice, and corruption don't just trouble me; they settle into my body and stay. And when the world is in turmoil, many HSPs face a painful dilemma: do we throw ourselves into every cause until we burn out, or do we retreat into helplessness?
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Imagine that you’re at a party or gathering at a friend’s house. As a highly sensitive person, you may have felt some anxiety or dread about going to the party and having to make small talk. Some of the folks in attendance are friends, and you gravitate toward talking to them. But, you notice a couple of people who hang back and don’t seem to know many others. Your empathy kicks in, and you decide to go chat with them to help them feel more welcome. While you’re talking, another person or two joins in the conversation and brings up a political issue you care about deeply. As you passionately discuss the matter, you add in how you cannot understand anyone who thinks otherwise. The person you initially approached quietly says, “I disagree” and wanders away.
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Wondering what it's like to date a highly sensitive person? Learn the reality—emotional depth, connection, challenges, and how to make the relationship thrive.
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Conflict overwhelms HSPs fast. Learn how to manage arguments, regulate your nervous system, and stay connected without shutting down or spiraling.
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Do you find yourself ruminating on things a friend or a loved one has said or done long after the moment has passed? Do you try to “let things go” only to find the memory and the feelings of what happened resurface with more intensity? Many highly sensitive people (HSP) get the message that we’re too sensitive, causing us to question our feelings and expectations toward others. How do we know what reasonable expectations look like? Read on for 3 helpful tips for navigating relationship expectations as an HSP.
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I’ve been sick on and off for the past month. It began with a single symptom, as most sicknesses do, and has since progressed into a whirlwind of Doctors’ visits, testing endeavors with conflicting results, an unrelated COVID exposure and period of isolation, a resurgence of the original ailment, and a whole lot of uncertainty. Being ill is unpleasant for anyone, but as a highly sensitive person it can be hard not to feel downright pathetic with the intensity of just how bad things feel - not just physically, but emotionally. If you’re also an HSP and feel especially “fragile” during times of illness, you’re not alone!
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Anxiety in adulthood often traces back to childhood emotional neglect—when your emotional needs were unmet, even in a “normal” home. Learn how this quiet wound fuels perfectionism, people-pleasing, and inner criticism—and how therapy can help you heal, reconnect, and feel more at ease.
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Constantly saying “sorry,” even when you’ve done nothing wrong? Over-apologizing often points to deeper patterns like people-pleasing, low self-worth, or fear of conflict. Learn what’s really behind the reflex—and how therapy can help you build confidence and take up space without guilt.
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Brainspotting is a powerful, body-based therapy that helps process trauma, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm—especially when talk therapy isn’t enough. Learn what to expect from sessions and how this gentle, somatic approach supports deep healing in Sacramento or online across California.
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Feeling overwhelmed this summer? If you're a highly sensitive person (HSP), the season's heat, social pressure, and disrupted routines can lead to burnout. Learn why summer can be especially draining for HSPs and discover practical, therapy-informed strategies to stay grounded and restore your energy.
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I don't want to be a burden. I don't wanna put my stuff on other people. I don't want to seem weak or needy.
These phrases might be familiar if you've learned that it's not okay to have needs, or that others’ needs are more important than yours. There are a number of reasons this might be the case: you might be an HSP (highly sensitive person), you might have grown up in a family where needs weren't discussed, you might have received messages from the dominant culture that your needs are unimportant, maybe all of the above. You might believe that the only way you can get love is by suppressing your needs, but it actually might be hurting your relationships.
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Have you read the articles and know that practicing mindfulness or meditation is good for you? Maybe you’ve tried sitting quietly and focusing on your breathing, and you suddenly have 1,000 thoughts running through your head, which quickly turn into worries and leave you feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
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Do you remember how it felt when you did something you loved as a kid? Like, the kind of play that really used to light you up? The thing that you always looked forward to or daydreamed about?
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As HSPs, we’re often so highly attuned that we experience overwhelm due to a constant stream of emotional and sensory input. We pick up on body language, subtle changes or details in our environment, and the needs and emotions of others. For some of us, we’re also acutely aware of our own needs and emotions, but for others, this may be a struggle. How does it impact us when we receive lots of external input, but struggle to attune to ourselves? And how can better attuning to ourselves actually reduce some of the overwhelm we experience?
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Have I mentioned that I hate small talk? I can handle about 30 seconds of it, and then . . . I’m boooored. The meaningless banter makes me wish I was at home reading a good book. But, give me some depth, catch my interest on a topic, go beyond the ordinary chatter, and I’m hooked. I love stories SO much. I could listen for hours as a story unfolds. Yes, it’s one of the reasons I became a therapist, and it’s one of the gifts of therapy—we very quickly move past the shallow small talk and dig into what’s real and what matters. As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), this stirs my soul. I come alive with such deep and meaningful conversations.
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As highly sensitive people (HSPs), we may know ourselves to be conscientious, thoughtful, empathic and attuned to others’ emotional states. We might also be aware that these qualities make us much less likely to treat others harshly. Thus, experiencing uncomfortable emotions like resentment or jealousy or learning that we’ve hurt someone’s feelings may be particularly difficult for us. We may even start to question ourselves, “How could I feel this way? What’s wrong with me?” Let’s dive a little deeper to learn why we might feel this way and how we can better understand ourselves.
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It’s fair to say we’ve all felt it - an imbalance in the ratio of available time to the number of tasks on the list to complete and all the stress that comes with it. While time scarcity can be overwhelming for anyone experiencing it, there are a number of reasons why it can take a greater toll on those of us who are highly sensitive. As HSPs, we tend to have an intensified response to stress in general, not to mention how our tendency toward deep processing and introspection can warrant a slower pace for decision making and task processes.
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As highly sensitive people (HSPs), our brains and bodies stay on the alert, noticing all sorts of details about what’s happening around us. For myself and many HSPs I know, the line between being aware versus overly alert, on edge, and tense can sometimes be very thin.
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