What comes to mind when you think of someone who is described as “sensitive”? Something in the realm of overly emotional, weak, or fragile? If so, you’re not alone. In a world that often glorifies toughness, sensitivity is frequently misunderstood and sometimes even dismissed as a flaw. But here’s the truth: sensitivity is not a liability—it’s a strength that allows people to process the world deeply, form meaningful connections, and navigate life with heightened awareness.

Empathy is a wonderful and essential human trait. It allows us to connect with others, offer

support, and foster meaningful relationships. But for those who tend to be over-attuned to

others, a common trait in highly sensitive people, empathy can sometimes feel more like a

burden than a gift. Over-attunement refers to an excessive focus on other people’s

emotions, often at the expense of one’s own needs. This pattern can lead to emotional

exhaustion, resentment, and a sense of losing oneself in relationships. So how can we find

balance? Let’s explore the roots of over-attunement, its impact, and practical strategies for

balancing empathy with self-care.

It’s no secret that we live in very polarized times. The news and social media are awash with stories of strong views and behavior. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), you may feel reluctant to express disagreement, for fear of upsetting others. Being highly attuned to others’ emotions makes it hard to shrug off intense reactions, especially if they’re directed at you. You feel a strong desire to maintain harmony, but you worry about the impact of staying silent, especially on issues about which you feel strongly. What can you do?

It’s that time of year - the days are shorter and shorter, there’s less sunlight and more darkness, the temperature drops. If you’re like me, you may feel an internal dread, an urge to push the winter away and return to sunnier, warmer, longer days. As highly sensitive people, we can be particularly attuned to the change in seasons. This awareness can be really enjoyable when the seasons are shifting in a way we like and can bring a heaviness, an anxiety, or even a foreboding, when they’re changing in ways we don’t like.

How did that make you feel? What’s coming up for you now? How did you manage that situation? 

If you’ve been to therapy even once before, chances are you’ve encountered one or all of the phrases above. And that makes sense. A competent therapist is going to draw attention to your strengths, your thoughts and physical sensations, your feelings. Common denominator: You.

Have you read the articles and know that practicing mindfulness or meditation is good for you? Maybe you’ve tried sitting quietly and focusing on your breathing, and you suddenly have 1,000 thoughts running through your head, which quickly turn into worries and leave you feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

Do you remember how it felt when you did something you loved as a kid? Like, the kind of play that really used to light you up? The thing that you always looked forward to or daydreamed about? 

As HSPs, we’re often so highly attuned that we experience overwhelm due to a constant stream of emotional and sensory input. We pick up on body language, subtle changes or details in our environment, and the needs and emotions of others. For some of us, we’re also acutely aware of our own needs and emotions, but for others, this may be a struggle. How does it impact us when we receive lots of external input, but struggle to attune to ourselves? And how can better attuning to ourselves actually reduce some of the overwhelm we experience?

Have I mentioned that I hate small talk? I can handle about 30 seconds of it, and then . . . I’m boooored. The meaningless banter makes me wish I was at home reading a good book. But, give me some depth, catch my interest on a topic, go beyond the ordinary chatter, and I’m hooked. I love stories SO much.  I could listen for hours as a story unfolds. Yes, it’s one of the reasons I became a therapist, and it’s one of the gifts of therapy—we very quickly move past the shallow small talk and dig into what’s real and what matters. As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), this stirs my soul. I come alive with such deep and meaningful conversations.