Do you find yourself ruminating on things a friend or a loved one has said or done long after the moment has passed? Do you try to “let things go” only to find the memory and the feelings of what happened resurface with more intensity? Many highly sensitive people (HSP) get the message that we’re too sensitive, causing us to question our feelings and expectations toward others. How do we know what reasonable expectations look like? Read on for 3 helpful tips for navigating relationship expectations as an HSP. 

I’ve been sick on and off for the past month. It began with a single symptom, as most sicknesses do, and has since progressed into a whirlwind of Doctors’ visits, testing endeavors with conflicting results, an unrelated COVID exposure and period of isolation, a resurgence of the original ailment, and a whole lot of uncertainty. Being ill is unpleasant for anyone, but as a highly sensitive person it can be hard not to feel downright pathetic with the intensity of just how bad things feel - not just physically, but emotionally. If you’re also an HSP and feel especially “fragile” during times of illness, you’re not alone!

Have you ever gone on a handful of dates with someone, hopeful that the budding relationship would blossom, only to find that weeks later, none of your messages or calls to them are answered? Or has a friend at school suddenly cut off all communication with no explanation, and is now avoiding you in the community? Maybe you have felt such intense disconnection from someone that you can no longer maintain a relationship—yet the thought of reaching out to explain this to them fills you with so much dread that you’re considering just deleting their contact info and sweeping it all under the rug?

For people who identify as highly sensitive or empathic, intense embarrassment and shame might be particularly difficult experiences. Making a mistake can be followed by intense physical sensations and emotions: your face gets hot, your heart rate spikes, and sometimes you may even want to disappear. While this is normal and might even feel manageable for some, people who are highly sensitive may struggle to recover from these feelings.

As highly sensitive people (HSPs), we are especially prone to overwhelm and burnout. It can feel as though the world moves too fast, speaks too loudly, and asks too much. A powerful way to honor your sensitivity is by creating intentional rituals. Rituals are not about productivity or performance; rather, they’re about creating containers of safety, softness, and meaning. They help mark transitions, calm the nervous system, and create a sense of continuity in a world that often feels unpredictable.

Have you ever wondered if maybe you were a highly sensitive person (HSP) but felt like some of the traits just didn’t seem to fit?  Perhaps certain aspects such as sensitivity to stimuli, emotional depth, empathy, and a need for introverted time and a rich inner life really resonate with you. On the other hand, maybe you also seek adventure, thrills, a need to immerse yourself in new experiences.  Perhaps sometimes you find yourself bored or even a little depressed when life becomes small or too mundane.  Maybe you sometimes feel torn between going out and staying in, or you crave novelty and excitement while you also want to feel assured and know what to expect. Sometimes the highly sensitive person is not just highly sensitive, but is also high sensation seeking (HSS). 

I wake up sweaty and tense. I’ve had another dream about wandering through a hotel as I desperately try to get to my room. The catch is that the hotel keeps changing. The stairways move, levels don’t connect, elevators only go to certain floors and they constantly change course.

I’m up against terrible odds, and this seemingly easy task of going to my room has become a nightmare. No matter how much I try, the circumstances keep changing, and there’s so much that’s out of my control. 

There is enough to contend with being an HSP in a healthy and functioning world, but what do you do when the world feels like it’s unraveling? When it feels like every few minutes there is a news update about a cataclysmic natural disaster, ongoing conflict in war torn countries, reversals in civil rights policy, and increasing division in the world, what pressure do we put on ourselves? Do we expect ourselves to be unimpacted, to separate emotionally, to not react or respond. Being a highly sensitive person means we are highly attuned and keyed into the world around us — so naturally, an HSP would pick up on the intense emotional experience happening in the world right now and have a correlating reaction to it.

Have you been feeling worn down, burned out, or exhausted to your very core? Most of us have been there, we’re there right now, or we’ll be there again. As Hemingway wrote, “the world breaks everyone.” Being human means that we’ll know loss and struggle, that there’ll be times when life goes along smoothly and times when it’s all we can do to slowly inch our way forward.

What comes to mind when you think of someone who is described as “sensitive”? Something in the realm of overly emotional, weak, or fragile? If so, you’re not alone. In a world that often glorifies toughness, sensitivity is frequently misunderstood and sometimes even dismissed as a flaw. But here’s the truth: sensitivity is not a liability—it’s a strength that allows people to process the world deeply, form meaningful connections, and navigate life with heightened awareness.