Are you a parent who struggles to talk or with your teen? If the answer is yes I’m sure you won’t be shocked that you are not alone!  Sometimes it can feel like teenagers speak an entirely different language.  The teenage years can be so complicated, so many ups and downs, so much misunderstanding!  And in times of distress as a parent it is normal to want to have control, to experience anxiety for your child’s future and to focus on all the “ you shoulds” and “you need to”.  But when we focus so hard on who we want our teenager to be and what we believe they should do we miss out on their own authentic evolution and this often exacerbates self doubt and can even push them further away. 

It feels like just yesterday summer kicked off to a raucous start and now for families with teens summer is coming closer to winding down. And with the close of summer on the horizon, I would encourage you to start planting seeds with your teens about the return to school, especially if they had a difficult time last year or tend to struggle in school historically. Reflection is a key part of developing mindful awareness, and doing so will not only support your teen in navigating potential pitfalls more effectively but help designate you as someone they can come to if and when they need support. There are a few key factors to keep in mind when attempting this.

As a therapist who works with teens, a constant experience I hear from parents is the struggle to truly connect with them. The adolescent years can be a complex time for both teens and parents as teens are navigating a newfound desire for independence. This experience can leave the parent-child relationship feeling strained and distant. However, fostering a strong bond and quality time can provide benefits for a teen’s overall well-being.

If your teen is in therapy for the first time, you might wonder what’s going on during those first few sessions, and your teen might be wondering what to expect when talking to a therapist for the first time. It makes sense to be curious or even nervous for this new experience. Building rapport is an important part of therapy, and especially important when working with teens. Making a true connection with someone is a vital first step towards effective therapy. Everyone is different, but it usually takes a few sessions to start to build a sense of trust and comfort with a new therapist. This is especially true for teens, who might be apprehensive about attending therapy to begin with. Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re a teen or a parent of a teen who has questions about what those first few sessions might look like: 

Have you been finding it hard to motivate yourself to go to and stay in school? More than just your typical I don't want to, because let's keep it real, school isn't always the most fun place to be. If this speaks to you, you are not alone! This experience is called school refusal. School refusal is when a teenager or any school-aged person, consistently refuses to go to school or has difficulty staying in school for the full day. It goes beyond occasional truancy or wanting to skip class occasionally. It often involves intense emotional distress or anxiety related to attending school. This distress can manifest in physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or other complaints.

It's no secret that being a teenager is hard. In fact, acknowledging this has been a practical cliché for generations. Mental and emotional stressors originating in biology—growth and change across late childhood and adolescence—are understandably important factors. But so are environmental factors, the pressures put on teens by social forces like education, the economy, technology, and increased connectivity to an uncertain world. 

Do you see your teen lounging around--eyes glued to their phone constantly--and worry about what kind of adult they’re going to become? You might be frustrated with your kid’s low energy , with their ability to sleep 17 hours a day, or with how you have to tell them 8 times to unload the dishwasher, and you wonder when they’ll finally get it together.

Dear parents,

Here are answers to more frequently asked questions that often pop up for parents searching for services for their child/teen. I hope these insights can help you as you begin sussing out what you are looking for therapeutically.

As therapists, we are aware that it can be overwhelming and anxiety provoking trying to navigate the mental health system for your child – especially if you have never had contact with any kind of mental health support in the past. In hopes of supporting you as you start this journey, here are the answers to some frequently asked therapy questions.