Coping With Responsibilities When You're Stressed Out
Ivy Griffin
Have you been feeling worn down, burned out, or exhausted to your very core? Most of us have been there, we’re there right now, or we’ll be there again. As Hemingway wrote, “the world breaks everyone.” Being human means that we’ll know loss and struggle, that there’ll be times when life goes along smoothly and times when it’s all we can do to slowly inch our way forward.
As highly sensitive people (hsps) who feel strong emotions and whose nervous systems pick up on the environment around us, we can be even more susceptible to stress and exhaustion.
Right now, so many people are struggling with the chaos, upset, losses to human rights, and uncertainty in our country’s political climate. Simultaneously, we’re carrying on with our lives and responsibilities, which bring their own day-to-day stress.
You may be pretty good at managing the typical stress, but all the extra tension in our broader culture has your sensitive nervous system on high alert, understandably. Or, the day-to-day stress may be taking its toll on you. There are times when we simply don’t have the same energy or times when adding one more thing to our plate feels like it’s going to cause the whole house of cards to tumble.
The problem is that all this stress takes a huge toll on us, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Then, it takes tremendous effort to manage our responsibilities when we already feel exhausted and worn down by life.
Plus, as highly sensitive people, we usually need more down time to soothe and regulate our nervous systems and our emotions. And, this is totally okay! It really is. We bring so many strengths to the world through our observations, insights, curiosity, empathy, and ideas that needing more time for rest is just part of the trade-off of this personality trait.
So, what are some tips to help us carry on when we’re struggling and stressed out?
Take more breaks. This could be time off from work or a break from responsibilities. Even a little extra time helps. What would this look like for you? A full 8 hours on a Tuesday to flop on the couch? Asking your partner or loved one to watch the kids while you have some alone time? It doesn’t have to be a huge break. Going to bed at 8pm, sitting in your car for 2 minutes to breathe before you move on with your day, or having 10 minutes of quiet on a park bench can make a difference. Look for the micro-moments in your day where you can add in rest.
Accept this season. Accepting does not mean that you have to like it or agree with it. Seasons come and go, and we all have ups and downs. Acceptance means acknowledging that you’re stressed out and are not able to be your best self right now. This is okay. It’s normal. So, how can you ease up on yourself? Maybe give yourself permission to not be 100% at work currently. Let dinner be frozen food or takeout again. Accept that you’ll do what you can, and this won’t last forever.
Still do the things that fill your cup. When we’re stressed and overwhelmed, it’s easy to stop doing what brings us joy. We feel like we don’t have the energy to dance or read or go to lunch with a friend, but we need positive experiences more than ever when life is hard. Even if you have to push yourself, you’ll usually feel better after and be glad that you did.
Remember, it’s ok to ask for help. You don’t have to go through this alone. Whether you reach out to your partner, friend, family member, or therapist, it’s ok to need support. We all do.
The rest of that line from Hemingway in Farewell to Arms is “and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”
Of course, no one wants to feel stressed out. It sucks, and it’s really hard. But, we can get through it, we can care for our highly sensitive natures, and sometimes we grow in the process. (I know - I wish growth were easier too!)
Please take good care of yourself, and if you need some support, we’re here for you.
Warmly,
she/her
Founder & Director
LMFT # 51714