1614 X St., Suite A
Sacramento, CA 95818
US

916-287-3430

Thrive Therapy & Counseling provides high quality therapy to Highly Sensitive People and to kids, teens or adults struggling with anxiety, depression or self-esteem.

Blog

This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves.  There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!

Filtering by Category: self care Sacramento

Three Ways to Deal With Emotional Overwhelm

Ivy Griffin

I just want things to roll off my back. I don’t want to feel so bothered by things anymore! How can I just let things go? Many of us know the feeling of rising emotion, like a tidal wave about to engulf us – your heart races, perhaps your face gets hot, and it takes all your strength not to dissolve in tears or explode in anger. When this happens, we feel powerless, alone or embarrassed, and we wish these feelings would just go away! But no matter how hard we try, no matter how often we tell ourselves “It’s no big deal”, these feelings keep returning again and again. How do we make lasting change?

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categories coaching for hsps, highly sensitive person, HSP therapy, self care Sacramento
tags surviving and thriving, HSP coping skills, coping with overwhelm, stress management, anxiety, therapy in Sacramento

Spiraling – The Pain of Repetition

Ivy Griffin

It's 3am and you're scrolling on your phone to try and get a break from your repetitive thoughts about the uncomfortable conversation you had earlier with a coworker. Or maybe you're attempting to mentally plan for every possible outcome of a future conversation. Your thoughts are as overwhelming as the hundreds of lines of text and images pouring down your screen. You ask yourself, “What could I have said better? What could I do to prevent this discomfort in the future?” You feel exhausted yet, sleep doesn't come. What can you do?

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categories self care Sacramento, highly sensitive person, codependency
tags surviving and thriving, HSP self-care, empath, people-pleasing, anxiety

Letting Your Anxiety Rest

Ivy Griffin

“I am so tired but I can’t sleep.”

“Sometimes I don’t realize how tense I am until something starts to hurt.”

“I feel like I’m ALWAYS planning, always trying to anticipate the next thing.”

Simultaneous exhaustion and nervous energy are common experiences for people who struggle with feelings of anxiety. You desperately want to relax but your body and mind just can’t let go. We think to ourselves “If I could just plan enough, do enough, be enough, THEN I can relax.” But this rarely ever happens. How do we get out of this cycle so we can rest?

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categories coaching for hsps, live and grow, self care, self care Sacramento, self-care
tags anxiety, anxiety help, manage anxiety, self-care

Reducing Anxiety by Thinking Outside the Box

Ivy Griffin

“I get caught in these thought spirals and can’t get out.” “I obsess about all the things that could go wrong.” “I feel paralyzed and can’t take a step in any direction because I’m afraid of making the wrong decision.” Ugh! Anxious thoughts can be so exhausting! They can keep us up at night and weigh us down so much it feels difficult to move. How do we get unstuck and find relief?

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categories self care, self care Sacramento, therapy, therapy Sacramento
tags surviving and thriving, anxiety help, anxiety

Getting More Out of Your Down-Time

Ivy Griffin

“I feel like I don’t do enough to be as tired as I am”. “I did nothing all weekend and I’m still exhausted!” “Why do I need so much rest?” Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Many people are frustrated and confused by how depleted they continue to feel after down-time. They want to feel more energized and refreshed but can’t seem to get the restorative rest they need. Let’s look at why that might be!

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categories highly sensitive person, HSP therapy, mindfulness, self care Sacramento, therapy Sacramento
tags surviving and thriving, highly sensitive person, anxiety, coping with overwhelm, depression

Why am I so bothered by things that don’t affect other people?

Ivy Griffin

I often hear the frustration and sadness and defeat in the voices of highly sensitive people (HSP) when they share how they become more emotional, overwhelmed, shut down, or worn out in situations that don’t seem to affect other people. This difference can make HSPs feel like outsiders, like there must be something wrong with them because they are “abnormal” compared to everyone around them. 

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categories coaching for hsps, highly sensitive person, HSP therapy, self care Sacramento
tags highly sensitive therapist, highly sensitive person, therapy for HSPs, HSP self-care

Parenting while being an HSP: A Survival Guide

Ivy Griffin

What are some of the characteristics of HSPs? We don't like loud noises, making mistakes, we need reassurance, are easily startled, it takes us longer to adjust to significant life changes, we feel overwhelmed when there’s a lot going on at once, and other’s moods deeply affect us. We also have strong emotional attunement and empathy. We care more! Being  a parent means there’s constant chaos, rushing, less time for basic needs like eating/sleeping/bathing much, limited time for self-care, huge changes, hourly and persistent loud noises. When challenges are not addressed, this can lead to emotional reactivity, guilt, struggles with anxiety/depression, feeling lonely/disconnected and low self-value.

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categories highly sensitive person, HSP therapy, parenting sacramento, self care Sacramento
tags highly sensitive therapist, highly sensitive person, self-care for parents

You're Not Alone

Ivy Griffin

I often hear from highly sensitive people (HSPs) how different and alone they feel. “I’m too sensitive,” “I need to grow a thicker skin,” “Why can’t I just let it go like everyone else?” are common refrains. Such beliefs often stem from a lifetime of conscious and unconscious messages from well-meaning and not-so-well-meaning people about how there’s something wrong with the way you are. And, the reality is--highly sensitive people are not the norm. We know this because research has found that 15-20% of people in any given population in any given culture carry the personality trait of being highly sensitive. 

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categories highly sensitive person, HSP therapy, self care Sacramento
tags highly sensitive therapist, highly sensitive person, therapy for HSPs

Tarot, Talismans, and Deities Oh My! Spirituality Can Actually Be...Therapeutic?

Ivy Griffin

If we can let go of the dogma, the expectations, the institution of religion, the threat of morality etc. and can look at spirituality from the lens of “ that which we cannot see”, or curiosity, it can lead us into a world of supportive practices that are not just helpful to the soul (whether or not you believe in that sort of thing) but can also be helpful to our mental health.

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categories be true to yourself, different kind of therapy, HSP therapy, live and grow, self care Sacramento
tags highly sensitive therapist, therapy for HSPs, HSP self-care

Letting Go of Guilt and Obligation in Relationships

Ivy Griffin

Ever wonder why feelings of guilt and obligation are so prevalent in your relationships? Many of us grow up in environments that promote a type of familial obligation in which children are thought to owe their parents because the parents "gave them life" or basic necessities like food, shelter, etc. Children who learn this form of familial obligation may get subtly or not-so-subtly guilt-tripped by their parents when they disagree with them, ask for emotional support, or don't want to spend time with them. These guilt trips might include phrases like "After all I've done for you" or "I didn't know I was such a horrible parent". The implication is that though you did not ask to be born, you owe your parents an unlimited amount.

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categories codependency, dating advice, healthy relationships, self care Sacramento
tags surviving and thriving, healthy relationships, improve family relationships

How We Self-Sabotage With Self-Judgment

Ivy Griffin

As HSPs, we may spend a significant amount of energy managing our day-to-day lives. Work, home responsibilities, social interactions, and running errands can leave us feeling drained and like we need lots of time to recuperate. This can be tough when we live in a society that values productivity and activity over rest and rejuvenation. It’s easy for self-judgment about what we “ought” to be doing to creep in. 

This self-judgment can manifest as a sense of “I’m not doing enough”, “I’m so lazy”, or “What’s wrong with me that I can’t do more?” When these messages are the ones playing loudest and most often in our heads, they interrupt the time we need to recuperate and make it so we can never fully relax. They can also put pressure on our social interactions which can lead them to feel strained or tense. In the end, our self-judgment drains us of even more energy so that we’re not only left feeling exhausted, we feel bad about ourselves as well. 

So what can we do? 

  • Recognize where this self-judgment comes from -- We learn these messages and we can unlearn them with time and practice. They may reflect the values of the wider society and/or our peers and family. But do they represent our values? At the end of the day, we’re the ones that must live in our own heads so we must think about the way we talk to ourselves. 

  • Try challenging these messages with questions like “Are all societal/familial values healthy?” or “How does it impact me to buy into this mindset?” or “Who stands to benefit from me buying into the belief that I need to be productive to be valued?”

  • Start replacing these messages with more realistic and compassionate ones like “Adequate rest is essential to my ability to function at my best.” or “Just because rest and rejuvenation were not valued in my family, doesn’t mean they aren’t valuable and healthy.” and “Taking time to myself helps me to be more available and engaged when I do have to/choose to interact with others.”

Over time, we can begin to build the type of acceptance we need to be more compassionate and understanding towards ourselves and others. When we honor and respect our own boundaries and needs, we bring that to our relationships and interactions as well. With practice, we may start to find that we’re better able to find balance in our lives and finally let go of the self-judgment that’s been holding us back. 

Initiating and maintaining these types of practices can be difficult -- don’t be afraid to reach out for support! The therapists at Thrive are here to help.

Best wishes, 

Ileana Arganda-Stevens, AMFT #99821

she/hers

Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714

Thrive Therapy & Counseling

916-287-3430

thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/ileana-arganda


categories highly sensitive person, coaching for hsps, self care Sacramento, therapy Sacramento
tags highly sensitive therapist, setting boundaries, self-care, self talk

Inner Peace … Anyone?

Ivy Griffin

Have you ever tried to find a sense of peace? Where did you look? What did you do? Attend yoga, meditation classes, use hallucinogens, try out different spiritual practices, or get a massage? If you’ve tried one or all of these things, then you are not alone! Many of us have used a variety of relaxation methods in order to become more peaceful.

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categories self care Sacramento
tags surviving and thriving, inner peace, self-care, coping skills

For Goodness Sake, Get Outside and Play!!

Ivy Griffin

On a somewhat regular basis, I try to make sure my kids get outside and eat some dirt. Just kidding about the eating it part! But, we definitely get out to play in the dirt. We ‘garden’ together. The gardening usually consists of me putting plants and soil in pots, then my five year old moving all around - barefooted - digging either in the pots or in the ground, finding worms, collecting acorn ‘hats,’ and finally plunging herself onto the grass.

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categories self care Sacramento
tags surviving and thriving, mental health, outdoors for mental health