It feels like just yesterday summer kicked off to a raucous start and now for families with teens summer is coming closer to winding down. And with the close of summer on the horizon, I would encourage you to start planting seeds with your teens about the return to school, especially if they had a difficult time last year or tend to struggle in school historically. Reflection is a key part of developing mindful awareness, and doing so will not only support your teen in navigating potential pitfalls more effectively but help designate you as someone they can come to if and when they need support. There are a few key factors to keep in mind when attempting this.
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So this message today is for all my caregivers, whether you are the adult child of an aging parent, someone who is helping their spouse through health issues, an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or even an older sibling who is looking out for a child.
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If your teen is in therapy for the first time, you might wonder what’s going on during those first few sessions, and your teen might be wondering what to expect when talking to a therapist for the first time. It makes sense to be curious or even nervous for this new experience. Building rapport is an important part of therapy, and especially important when working with teens. Making a true connection with someone is a vital first step towards effective therapy. Everyone is different, but it usually takes a few sessions to start to build a sense of trust and comfort with a new therapist. This is especially true for teens, who might be apprehensive about attending therapy to begin with. Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re a teen or a parent of a teen who has questions about what those first few sessions might look like:
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Have you been finding it hard to motivate yourself to go to and stay in school? More than just your typical I don't want to, because let's keep it real, school isn't always the most fun place to be. If this speaks to you, you are not alone! This experience is called school refusal. School refusal is when a teenager or any school-aged person, consistently refuses to go to school or has difficulty staying in school for the full day. It goes beyond occasional truancy or wanting to skip class occasionally. It often involves intense emotional distress or anxiety related to attending school. This distress can manifest in physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or other complaints.
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It's no secret that being a teenager is hard. In fact, acknowledging this has been a practical cliché for generations. Mental and emotional stressors originating in biology—growth and change across late childhood and adolescence—are understandably important factors. But so are environmental factors, the pressures put on teens by social forces like education, the economy, technology, and increased connectivity to an uncertain world.
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For many individuals diagnosed or undiagnosed with ADHD, they often grew up saturated in the word “lazy”. Anytime they were unable to accomplish a task or a goal this word was bandied about and stated with absolute certainty. The problem is that “lazy” implies an intention – when you are being lazy, you are actively choosing not to do something.
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Do you see your teen lounging around--eyes glued to their phone constantly--and worry about what kind of adult they’re going to become? You might be frustrated with your kid’s low energy , with their ability to sleep 17 hours a day, or with how you have to tell them 8 times to unload the dishwasher, and you wonder when they’ll finally get it together.
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Dear parents,
Here are answers to more frequently asked questions that often pop up for parents searching for services for their child/teen. I hope these insights can help you as you begin sussing out what you are looking for therapeutically.
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As therapists, we are aware that it can be overwhelming and anxiety provoking trying to navigate the mental health system for your child – especially if you have never had contact with any kind of mental health support in the past. In hopes of supporting you as you start this journey, here are the answers to some frequently asked therapy questions.
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There’s an app for just about everything at this point so it should come as no surprise that there are apps for venting. When it comes to our teens, the idea of letting them venture into yet another unknown social media realm can feel daunting. So here are a few things to keep in mind if your teen asks to download a venting app, or shares that they have.
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As a parent, watching your teen begin the complex journey of self-discovery and identity development can feel like an emotional roller coaster. At times you may feel at odds with their means of self-expression or find it challenging to broach the conversation about identity with your teen who feels more resistant to opening up than ever before. Finding the balance between respecting your teens' unique journey and desire for greater independence with guidance and support can feel like an impossible juggling act!
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Sometimes it can seem like teens completely tune out (or want nothing to do with) adults, especially authority figures, even more so--their parents. This can leave parents feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. “He’s not getting his homework done, but how am I supposed to get him on the right track when he won’t listen to me?!” “She seems irritable and agitated a lot these days, but when I ask what’s wrong, she rolls her eyes or grumbles, ‘nothing.’ How do I get through to her?”
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How do we help our kids appreciate technology without becoming all consumed by it? We live in this world of constant connectivity to our devices, and it can be hard for all of us to put the phone down and slowly back away. This is especially true for our teens, since they’re digital natives. They truly don’t know what life was like when you couldn’t just google everything, text a friend, or watch a youtube video to learn what to do.
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Perhaps you have considered medication for your teen or perhaps someone else suggested it might be worth looking into. And maybe on this subject your feelings are mixed, or you have historically been hesitant to consider the idea. I encourage you to explore and consider your resistance- where does it stem from? Was it a bad personal experience, a horror story about a friend or family member that tried, or is it a lack of knowledge on the subject?
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Have you noticed a shift in your teens' day-to-day routine and mood? Getting them out the door for school may feel like the same battle each morning as they tearfully beg you to let them stay home again. You may have noticed your teen is increasingly holed up in their room uninterested in hanging out with friends or more reluctant than usual to join the family. Or maybe you’ve heard your frustrated teen complain about being unable to get to sleep, furthering the challenge of getting them moving in the morning. These behaviors may be signs of underlying anxiety that leave you feeling helpless and desperate for solutions to help get your child feeling like themselves again. If so, here are a few tools for supporting your teen through anxiety…
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