A Message to Caregivers

So this message today is for all my caregivers, whether you are the adult child of an aging parent, someone who is helping their spouse through health issues, an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or even an older sibling who is looking out for a child. 

If you are somebody who puts other people’s needs first, if you find yourself taking care of someone else, I just want to commend you on choosing this path. This path is not for the faint of heart. It will test your patience, it will try your resolve, it will demand more of you than you realize in big ways and in small. And there will be moments where you kind of lose yourself – where you lose sight of what you need to take care of you. 

But it is such an incredible gift to be able to give somebody – to lift that burden from their shoulders, to help them navigate through the darkness to find their way back to the light. My only request is that as you tend to your loved one, no matter who they are, that you don’t forget each day to take a few moments for yourself – to rest, to relax, to charge. Because we are not endless – and I think that’s the hard thing when it comes to caregiving, because there is so much love and care and there is such a desire to protect the people we care about, and we’re ready to pour ourselves into it sometimes.

 And it’s such a beautiful desire, to want to give that much. But if we give more than we have we’ll soon reach the cliff. We’ll get to a point where we have nothing left to give, where we are so burnt out that we can’t help with the day-to-day. Where it will break down our soul.

And so if you’re caregiving take the time. I know it seems counterintuitive, I know it feels like there’s not enough hours in the day, but you are worth it. You deserve it, and not only that but the person you are taking care of deserves the best version of you they can possibly get. And that means taking care of ourself. And you know some days that might mean just making sure that you’re hydrated. Other days, that might be taking five minutes of quiet in your car before you start the day. It might be meditating, or venting to somebody else that we trust. It might be treating ourself to something special, it might be making sure we’re well-rested. It might be being smart enough to ASK for assistance when we need it. Because it is exhausting, the task of caregiving and sometimes it feels like there is no end in sight. 

Caregiving is a beautiful role, but it can also be taxing. And so don’t forget about you.