What are some of the characteristics of HSPs? We don't like loud noises, making mistakes, we need reassurance, are easily startled, it takes us longer to adjust to significant life changes, we feel overwhelmed when there’s a lot going on at once, and other’s moods deeply affect us. We also have strong emotional attunement and empathy. We care more! Being a parent means there’s constant chaos, rushing, less time for basic needs like eating/sleeping/bathing much, limited time for self-care, huge changes, hourly and persistent loud noises. When challenges are not addressed, this can lead to emotional reactivity, guilt, struggles with anxiety/depression, feeling lonely/disconnected and low self-value.
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Do you ever feel like everybody needs something from you and all you want is time to yourself? Do you try to take time for yourself but struggle with guilt or worry about “neglecting” others? Finding the balance between our needs and others’ can be a struggle. Many of us have received messages from the time we were young to do as we’re told, that being “good” is saying “yes” to everyone, and that prioritizing ourselves is selfish. How can we be there for others without losing our minds? And how can we prioritize ourselves without feeling selfish.
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Lately, in my personal and professional life, I have noticed a common theme. What I have noticed is how hard it can be to make the transition from having a child in the home to having one out of the home. I wanted to create a guide to assist “empty nesters” with living a full life after their child has moved out. If you have been able to raise an independent child, that is a sign that you have found some success as a parent! Unfortunately, after celebrating this milestone many parents are left wondering what to do without kids around.
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Self-care. I know, it’s a buzz word, and we’ve talked before about the importance of taking care of yourself if you are a parent. However, it’s so necessary and so often overlooked or ignored that it deserves more discussion. Today I want to address a broader audience—one that includes all types of caregivers. I suppose everyone experiences supporting another person at one time or another in life, but some people have strict caretaking type roles in their work or family or friendship circle. For the purposes of this post, I’m using a very broad definition of the term caretaker, so it includes anyone in a role in which they have some consistent responsibility to manage the wellbeing and care of another human being.
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Have you ever heard a child’s parents being blamed when the child has “behavior problems?” Even naming something wrong with the parents’ character? Ouch. Maybe you yourself have felt the blunt end of this blame or have worried that others will judge you as "one of those parents" when your child acts out. It’s a message that is communicated by people all throughout our society from high profile leadership to the average American worker. It’s a natural urge for us to look for someone to take responsibility for the misinterpreted shortcomings of our kids. Pointing fingers is so much easier than digging deeper.
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