1614 X St., Suite A
Sacramento, CA 95818
US

916-287-3430

Thrive Therapy & Counseling provides high quality therapy to Highly Sensitive People and to kids, teens or adults struggling with anxiety, depression or self-esteem.

Blog

This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves.  There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!

Filtering by Tag: setting boundaries

Using Communication to Help Hold Healthy Boundaries

Ivy Griffin

Holding healthy boundaries is a mental health and well-being phrase that seems to get passed around a lot lately, but what does it actually mean? When we are encouraged to hold healthy boundaries we are actively taking measures to implement limits which safeguard our mental and emotional well-being. These safeguards can prevent burnout, stress, frustration, and resentment between ourselves, loved ones, friends and colleagues.

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categories codependency, healthy relationships, relationships, self care
tags surviving and thriving, setting boundaries, communication skills, healthy relationships

How To Stand In Your Power and Set Healthy Boundaries

Ivy Griffin

Something that many of us hear, but may not have been modeled is how to hold our inner power and set healthy boundaries. Standing in your power and setting healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining your well-being and cultivating healthy relationships. You might ask yourself– What does it look like to stand in your power? Standing in your power means confidently and authentically expressing yourself while taking control of your life and decisions. It involves embracing your inner strength, values, and self-worth. Now this sounds great in theory, but it isn't something that happens over night and needs conscientious practice, self awareness, and validation. I would be remiss to not address that there are various cultural, societal, and systemic oppressions that are created to take our power away. And while that may be true–

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categories codependency, healthy relationships, improve communication, relationships
tags surviving and thriving, improve relationships, setting boundaries

Discovering Your Boundaries as an HSP

Ivy Griffin

If you are reading this blog post, you likely identify as a Highly Sensitive Person. So, you know that as an HSP, you can become pretty easily overwhelmed by the world around you. Highly Sensitive People are sensitive to both environmental and emotional stimuli, which can lead to anxiety and burnout. As an HSP, boundary-setting is crucial for protecting your energy and wellbeing. It is important to say "no" when you feel overloaded, and to take time to recharge.

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categories be true to yourself, highly sensitive person, mindfulness, self care
tags highly sensitive therapist, setting boundaries, mindfulness

Stopping the Cycle of Overwhelm

Ivy Griffin

It’s all well and good to bust out your arsenal of coping tools when you’re already overwhelmed, but how do we lessen our chances of being overwhelmed in the first place?
As HSPs, our urges to please others, make their lives easier, and keep things calm can be quite strong. We will do almost anything to maintain peace and harmony in our environment. But sometimes this can come at the expense of our own well-being and we find ourselves exhausted, stressed out and depleted.

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categories highly sensitive person, HSP therapy, mindfulness, self-care
tags highly sensitive therapist, coping skills, setting boundaries, highly sensitive person

How We Self-Sabotage With Self-Judgment

Ivy Griffin

As HSPs, we may spend a significant amount of energy managing our day-to-day lives. Work, home responsibilities, social interactions, and running errands can leave us feeling drained and like we need lots of time to recuperate. This can be tough when we live in a society that values productivity and activity over rest and rejuvenation. It’s easy for self-judgment about what we “ought” to be doing to creep in. 

This self-judgment can manifest as a sense of “I’m not doing enough”, “I’m so lazy”, or “What’s wrong with me that I can’t do more?” When these messages are the ones playing loudest and most often in our heads, they interrupt the time we need to recuperate and make it so we can never fully relax. They can also put pressure on our social interactions which can lead them to feel strained or tense. In the end, our self-judgment drains us of even more energy so that we’re not only left feeling exhausted, we feel bad about ourselves as well. 

So what can we do? 

  • Recognize where this self-judgment comes from -- We learn these messages and we can unlearn them with time and practice. They may reflect the values of the wider society and/or our peers and family. But do they represent our values? At the end of the day, we’re the ones that must live in our own heads so we must think about the way we talk to ourselves. 

  • Try challenging these messages with questions like “Are all societal/familial values healthy?” or “How does it impact me to buy into this mindset?” or “Who stands to benefit from me buying into the belief that I need to be productive to be valued?”

  • Start replacing these messages with more realistic and compassionate ones like “Adequate rest is essential to my ability to function at my best.” or “Just because rest and rejuvenation were not valued in my family, doesn’t mean they aren’t valuable and healthy.” and “Taking time to myself helps me to be more available and engaged when I do have to/choose to interact with others.”

Over time, we can begin to build the type of acceptance we need to be more compassionate and understanding towards ourselves and others. When we honor and respect our own boundaries and needs, we bring that to our relationships and interactions as well. With practice, we may start to find that we’re better able to find balance in our lives and finally let go of the self-judgment that’s been holding us back. 

Initiating and maintaining these types of practices can be difficult -- don’t be afraid to reach out for support! The therapists at Thrive are here to help.

Best wishes, 

Ileana Arganda-Stevens, AMFT #99821

she/hers

Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714

Thrive Therapy & Counseling

916-287-3430

thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/ileana-arganda


categories highly sensitive person, coaching for hsps, self care Sacramento, therapy Sacramento
tags highly sensitive therapist, setting boundaries, self-care, self talk

The Importance of Saying NO

Ivy Griffin

In theory, saying the simple word of NO is a piece of cake, two-year-olds do it all the time. However, many of us struggle with refusing a request and end up saying yes while quietly wishing we could just say no. There are many reasons that saying no can feel uncomfortable or difficult: we may worry about upsetting or offending someone, we might feel guilty, we might also feel as though we are being selfish.

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categories healthy relationships, improve communication, relationships, therapy Sacramento
tags surviving and thriving, assertive communication, setting boundaries, healthy relationships

Setting boundaries, even now

Ivy Griffin

These are such tough times we’re continuing to live in, especially for sensitive souls who absorb so much of what happens around us. I keep saying this again and again, yet it’s still true. Those of us in California have been even more impacted in the past month with the horrific wildfires and terrible air quality. As someone who finds a lot of solace in getting outdoors and moving, it’s been incredibly challenging. It can feel like we’re on house arrest--can’t go outside and can’t go inside anywhere. Damned if we do or don’t.

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categories highly sensitive person
tags highly sensitive therapist, setting boundaries, highly sensitive person, HSP coping skills

How to say no

Ivy Griffin

I was at a holiday party recently with a white elephant gift exchange, and I saw the perfect gift for highly sensitive people (HSPs)--a giant red button with the word ‘no’ on it. When you pressed the button, it might say, ‘nope’ or ‘no, no, no, no, no!’ And I thought how amazing it would be for HSPs to be able to push a button that could set boundaries for them, instead of having to wade through all the guilt and worry and anguish around saying no. 

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categories highly sensitive person
tags highly sensitive therapist, highly sensitive person, setting boundaries

Taking stock of your boundaries

Ivy Griffin

In all relationships—whether with friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, strangers—boundaries exist. The boundaries may be conscious or unconscious, intentional or unintentional. No matter how much or little thought goes into any particular interpersonal boundary, these boundaries guide our interactions. We teach people how to treat us, and they teach us how to treat them, either by what we do or by what we don’t do.

Even though boundaries play a critical role in relationships throughout our lives, we often don’t spend much time talking or thinking about boundaries, unless something goes wrong.

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categories highly sensitive person
tags highly sensitive therapist, setting boundaries, highly sensitive person, empath