Discovering Your Boundaries as an HSP
Ivy Griffin
If you are reading this blog post, you likely identify as a Highly Sensitive Person. So, you know that as an HSP, you can become pretty easily overwhelmed by the world around you. Highly Sensitive People are sensitive to both environmental and emotional stimuli, which can lead to anxiety and burnout. As an HSP, boundary-setting is crucial for protecting your energy and wellbeing. It is important to say "no" when you feel overloaded, and to take time to recharge.
But - boundary-setting can be a hard thing to do! One way to ease yourself into the practice of setting boundaries is to discover your internal, felt sense of a boundary. In other words, learning about the way your body communicates that a boundary is needed is an excellent first step.
Common ways our bodies tell us that a boundary is needed:
Tension in the throat, chest, or belly
Clenching the jaw or fists
Leaning back or looking away
Feeling hot
Short, shallow breathing
Many Highly Sensitive People have learned to ignore their body’s signals to the point that they don’t know what their boundaries are in the first place. With practice, we can rediscover our boundaries and give ourselves what we need.
Here is a quick exercise to begin your discovery:
Grab a piece of paper and write the word “no” at the top. Then, without too much thought, begin to write a list of things you would like to say “no” to. This can include aspects of daily life such as mandatory tasks and unavoidable people, or things you choose to avoid such as a food you despise, animals you fear, or a terrible texture (microfiber towels, am I right?!). Whatever comes to mind goes on the list. Spend about a minute on this.
Take a moment to listen to your body, noticing the sensations that occur when you imagine all of these things you would like to say “no” to. Jot down any sensations you notice.
Now, for the fun part - the “yes” list. Repeat the exercise, but this time you will make a list of things you would like to say “yes” to. Here is my yes-list in this moment: sleep, petting my dog, this blog post, air conditioning, a really good salad, the ocean, a swingset, quiet… I could go on.
Again, take a moment to notice the sensations in your body and jot down anything you notice.
The result of this exercise is increased awareness of the ways your unique body expresses “yes” and “no.” The more we can listen to our body’s sensations, the more we will have a sense of when our boundaries are needed.
Kayla Ursa, AMFT #126881
Supervised by Danielle Kardum, LMFT #114847
Thrive Therapy
916-287-3430
http://thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/kayla-ursa