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Thrive Therapy & Counseling provides high quality therapy to Highly Sensitive People and to kids, teens or adults struggling with anxiety, depression or self-esteem.

Discovering Your Boundaries as an HSP

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This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves.  There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!

Discovering Your Boundaries as an HSP

Ivy Griffin

If you are reading this blog post, you likely identify as a Highly Sensitive Person. So, you know that as an HSP, you can become pretty easily overwhelmed by the world around you. Highly Sensitive People are sensitive to both environmental and emotional stimuli, which can lead to anxiety and burnout. As an HSP, boundary-setting is crucial for protecting your energy and wellbeing. It is important to say "no" when you feel overloaded, and to take time to recharge.

But - boundary-setting can be a hard thing to do! One way to ease yourself into the practice of setting boundaries is to discover your internal, felt sense of a boundary. In other words, learning about the way your body communicates that a boundary is needed is an excellent first step. 

Common ways our bodies tell us that a boundary is needed:

  • Tension in the throat, chest, or belly

  • Clenching the jaw or fists

  • Leaning back or looking away

  • Feeling hot

  • Short, shallow breathing

Many Highly Sensitive People have learned to ignore their body’s signals to the point that they don’t know what their boundaries are in the first place. With practice, we can rediscover our boundaries and give ourselves what we need.

Here is a quick exercise to begin your discovery: 

  • Grab a piece of paper and write the word “no” at the top. Then, without too much thought, begin to write a list of things you would like to say “no” to. This can include aspects of daily life such as mandatory tasks and unavoidable people, or things you choose to avoid such as a food you despise, animals you fear, or a terrible texture (microfiber towels, am I right?!). Whatever comes to mind goes on the list. Spend about a minute on this. 

  • Take a moment to listen to your body, noticing the sensations that occur when you imagine all of these things you would like to say “no” to. Jot down any sensations you notice. 

  • Now, for the fun part - the “yes” list. Repeat the exercise, but this time you will make a list of things you would like to say “yes” to. Here is my yes-list in this moment: sleep, petting my dog, this blog post, air conditioning, a really good salad, the ocean, a swingset, quiet… I could go on. 

  • Again, take a moment to notice the sensations in your body and jot down anything you notice. 

The result of this exercise is increased awareness of the ways your unique body expresses “yes” and “no.” The more we can listen to our body’s sensations, the more we will have a sense of when our boundaries are needed.

Kayla Ursa, AMFT #126881

Supervised by Danielle Kardum, LMFT #114847

Thrive Therapy

916-287-3430

http://thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/kayla-ursa