Sick and Sensitive

Sick and Sensitive- Navigating Illness as an HSP

I’ve been sick on and off for the past month. It began with a single symptom, as most sicknesses do, and has since progressed into a whirlwind of Doctors’ visits, testing endeavors with conflicting results, an unrelated COVID exposure and period of isolation, a resurgence of the original ailment, and a whole lot of uncertainty. Being ill is unpleasant for anyone, but as a highly sensitive person it can be hard not to feel downright pathetic with the intensity of just how bad things feel - not just physically, but emotionally. If you’re also an HSP and feel especially “fragile” during times of illness, you’re not alone!

Low energy, lack of appetite, a desire to withdraw socially and “crawl into a hole” - these are pretty universal aspects of the Illness Experience™ that medical experts even have a name for. They call it “sickness behavior”. Numerous studies have identified this cluster of symptoms as adaptive, meaning that they actually help us recover by conserving energy to prioritize fighting off the body’s intruder as well as preventing the spread of illness to others. Interestingly and unfortunately though, one of the features of this immune response is that it also interferes with the functioning of serotonin, one of our most important mood regulating neurotransmitters. So, if you’re feeling extra down on top of being regular old sick, there’s a reason.

While I find the science to be comforting to some degree, I’d like to share some other things that have been helpful for me personally in navigating this extended period of BLEH.

Permission to Assess One Day at a Time

This one may seem simple, but for me personally it was the most challenging mindset to lean into. I am a person who deeply appreciates having a concrete plan, especially when my own plans impact other people. In my particular case, “other people” means my clients, who I absolutely hate to cancel on, but would dare not ever want to risk getting sick either! This has warranted a shift for me from a “week by week” to “day by day” perspective, giving myself permission to create personal check-in points in ways that made sense.

For example, I’m currently waiting on a lab result that could result in starting antibiotics, therefore rendering me no longer contagious and allowing me to resume meeting in person with clients after 48 hours of treatment (to be on the safe side). However, if the result is negative or doesn’t arrive in time, I’ll have to cancel those sessions or offer telehealth instead. My urge is to make all the arrangements in advance, but I have to accept that I simply cannot - I don’t have all the information yet.

Accepting Supports from Afar

Another tough part about being sick is worrying about being contagious. I cannot tell you how many web searches I’ve done asking about incubation timeline estimations, asymptomatic vs symptomatic contagion factors, so on and so forth. While “sickness behavior” often includes an impulse to isolate, for me, there’s such a loneliness in being sick that activates a feeling of small-ness or even “clingy”-ness. Because HSPs are more impacted by sensory overload, and sensation is also so strongly tied to memory, it may follow that even the simple physiological experience of illness makes us harken back to memories of early childhood - times we were sick for the very first time ever.

I’ve found it helpful to maintain some level of contact with my close ones even when we can’t be together in person. This has eased some of that loneliness while also providing camaraderie and solidarity with the frustrating and cumbersome aspects as well, like having an “ear” to ventilate exasperation with the medical system. Accepting support may also look like saying “yes” to that supply run offer from a friend, or trusting a colleague when they offer to take on an extra work task to lighten your load. This can be a great opportunity to practice accepting help, especially for those of us who often feel the need to “do it all” ourselves.

Allowing Comforts and Novelty

I thought that this last one was obvious, but after several conversations with clients over the years surrounding this topic, I realize it may not be! While it can be helpful to lean into an established go-to “physical” protocol for either preventing or fighting off illness (ie certain foods, fluids, immune boosting supplements they swear by), I argue that tending to the difficult emotions that arise during sickness - especially for HSPs - is just as important to do.

Sometimes this may mean doing things that go against the physical protocols, such as treating yourself to a food or dessert item that isn’t typically deemed as “healthy”. Sometimes this may also mean engaging with those younger parts of ourselves that need extra kindness, even if the activities feel silly or “immature”, such as watching shows that you enjoyed as a small child. Lean into the nostalgia of it all!

The most important thing is to give yourself grace, and trust that even though this unpleasant, annoying, and deeply unfun, it will pass.

Best,

Leigh Johnson, LMFT #146804

they/them

Dantzer, R., & Kelley, K. W. (2007). Twenty years of research on cytokine-induced sickness behavior. Brain, behavior, and immunity, 21(2), 153–160. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbi.2006.09.006

Ratcliffe, M. (2013). A bad case of the flu? The comparative phenomenology of depression and somatic illness. Journal of Consciousness Studies, 21, 198-218.