Purpose and Development of Negative Core Beliefs
Ivy Griffin
A core belief is a deeply rooted and often subconscious perception of ourselves and the world around us. These beliefs act like a filter through which we view ourselves and our actions and judge them as good or bad. These belief systems are shaped by our experiences and our interpretations of these experiences. Many of us develop negative core beliefs. This is when we start to believe that something is inherently bad or wrong with us or the world around us. For example: “I am worthless” “I am not good enough” “I have to be perfect” “I cannot trust others”. These beliefs are often generalizations about things that we may even logically recognize as inaccurate.
Negative core beliefs do not have to come from a traumatic or difficult childhood although they certainly may. These beliefs develop from assumptions we make about the world through our experiences. As we develop, we can internalize our experiences and assume that bad things around us happen due to some inherent problem within us. For example: a child who struggles to make friends may come to the conclusion that this is because they are “unlikeable” or are “different” from the rest of the world. These conclusions are often not conscious realizations. Rather, they build quietly as the child begins to find more and more instances to fit their narrative of being different or unlikeable. Additionally, these negative core beliefs can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. A child may overcompensate for feeling ‘unlikeable’ to the point where their behaviors are annoying, leading people to pull away, thereby reinforcing the negative core belief “I am unlikeable”.
While negative core belief systems may seem problematic and harmful, there is a purpose to them. By holding this belief system we may be able to keep ourselves feeling emotionally safer with less risk of hurt or harm. An example of this might be someone with the belief: ‘people cannot be trusted’ staying away from a serious relationship or any real friendships. While this is clearly problematic and unhealthy in many ways, it is also a survival mechanism. By keeping oneself distant from others the person avoids being hurt or betrayed as they may have been in the past.
It is important to understand that negative core beliefs serve a purpose, they do not develop without reason. Through understanding we can better empathize with ourselves and gently work towards letting go of the belief. There may come a point where a negative core belief is now inhibiting us rather than helping us. One way to know we have reached this point is when we logically know that what we believe or are doing is a problem but cannot seem to step away from it. I may recognize that pushing other people away leaves me feeling lonely, but if I hold the belief that people can’t be trusted it will be very difficult to start connecting with people.
This is where therapy and support in challenging negative core beliefs may be helpful. Negative core beliefs feel true despite our rational brain being able to recognize otherwise. Thus trying to outwit these beliefs on our own is incredibly challenging and sometimes defeating. Letting go of negative core beliefs is possible and incredibly freeing. Once we realize that we are safe and no longer need to filter the world through our negative core beliefs, we have the opportunity to connect and believe in ourselves in a way that may not have felt possible before.
For more information on negative core beliefs and treating them, refer to my prior blog: Negative Core Beliefs.
Best,
Paige Roberts, Registered LMFT # 129525
Thrive Therapy & Counseling Offices:
2131 Capitol Ave., Ste. 206
Sacramento, CA 95816
916-287-3430