When I think of grief and loss, there are a handful of emotions that come to mind: sadness, anger, fear, agony, overwhelm, and many more that we may not even have words for. All of these are valid. In these moments, I personally have found it helpful to have some guiding pillars to return to and act as my compass while navigating through the intricacies of this experience. Today, I’d like to share those with you all. Whether you’re experiencing grief, loss, or a combination of both I encourage you to remember and exercise the following…
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Harvest, shorter days, autumn, fall. When Persephone is called back to the Underworld, when we are confronted with shadows, when the earth begins to prepare for it’s winter slumber. A time of year when we are asked to confront death whether figuratively, metaphorically, symbolically or literally. Many of us associate this season with reflection and nostalgia. For some this is a comforting time, for others it can be emotionally overwhelming and even painful. Death, whether literal or symbolic represents a time of change, a significant transition in our lives, a time of loss and a time of mourning. A time of process into renewal. Inin order to be transformed by this inevitable process, we must lean in to mourn what once was and embrace what we might be becoming.
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Today I want to introduce one of my favorite topics in therapy. It can often explain so much of our teen’s (and our own) experience, but we don’t always think about it in a broader context. That topic is grief and loss, and not just related to death.
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My heart and body feel heavy just typing the words. I’ve been putting off writing this article, dreading the topic and the mind-body-soul despair/fatigue/overwhelm/heartbreak (do any of these words come near enough?) that accompany grief. Yet, as highly sensitive people, at this moment in time, we may be grieving about So. So. Much.
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2016 ended with a bang for me. Unfortunately, it was not that of fireworks or a champagne bottle. My sweet, handsome 15 year old cat, Noche, had to be put to sleep. His kidneys were failing, and despite many tests and treatments, the vets still weren’t sure what was going wrong and couldn’t stop it. My heart felt like it was ripped out of me. Just 2 weeks prior Noche had gotten a great bill of health from the vet. As an older kitty, he had his share of health conditions, but they were being treated, and he seemed to be doing great. Imagine my shock, then, when we were out of town for the holidays, and my pet-sitter called to say Noche wasn’t eating. Thus began a week long roller coaster of vet phone calls, appointments, debate about whether to come home early, hospitalization, improvement and then rapid decline, all of which ended with my husband and I sitting at the vet’s office on the last day of the year holding my very sick boy for the last time.
I am crying as I write this. I miss him so much, and I still can’t believe that he’s gone. I also realize that as a highly sensitive person, I feel these emotions intensely. As an HSP and a therapist, I find myself noticing my feelings and naming the stages of grief as they come and go.
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