It’s over…Well, at least the logistical act of “breaking up” has occurred. Making the decision was tough enough, and actually enacting that decision was perhaps even harder, but nothing really feels “over” about the huge transition you’re facing right now. You may have expected to feel relieved or empowered, but the initial rush of getting what you thought would be the hard part out of the way has faded and left you with uncertainty. Is there a best way to grieve a relationship? How does one effectively move on? In other words: “Now what??”
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Have you ever found yourself thinking: Should I be feeling this way? I just can’t stand it when I feel (fill in the blank)! I wish I never had to experience this feeling.
The human experience is such a complex thing and includes many many different feelings over the course of our lives. However, we often get the message that certain feelings are undesirable or even off-limits.
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Do you have those moments where it feels like your entire body has been taken over by a feeling? Almost as if you’ve been consumed by a strange creature, and you’re not sure if there’s going to be a “you” when it’s all said and done?? I imagine most of us HSPs have had and will continue to have these moments—much to our chagrin. We hate them, right? I have that sense of ‘Wait, seriously, seriously?’ when it starts to happen. Like, are you kidding me—I’m here—AGAIN?!
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Ever catch yourself saying, “Argh! Really?! How did I end up back here again? I thought I’d gotten over that!” Just imagine me vigorously nodding my head as I type. I’ve been there so many times, more than I’d care to count. It can be the most frustrating experience. You think you’ve done your personal work, addressed the problem and are ready to face the world! Then, blam! You find yourself back in an old pattern. You may feel defeated, you may feel humbled. You may feel ashamed or hopeless.
But there’s some light in this tunnel—did you know this is NORMAL? You are not incompetent, and you’re not a lost cause. This process is a part of growth, believe it or not.
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62 miles of vineyards, farmland, and rivers—doesn’t sound too bad, right? Oh wait, did I mention 62 miles of cycling? Until a month ago, I would have said that was completely insane. However, my significant other has had a goal for years of riding a century—a full 100 miles of cycling. He’d talked about it before but hadn't gotten around to it. So, this year when the topic came up, I decided not only would I be supportive, but I would also set some cycling goals with him. I like the idea of having fitness-oriented goals, and we both love being outdoors, so what did I have to lose? I even registered with him for some upcoming centuries, knowing that we could do shorter rides on the day of, if necessary.
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