It's 3am and you're scrolling on your phone to try and get a break from your repetitive thoughts about the uncomfortable conversation you had earlier with a coworker. Or maybe you're attempting to mentally plan for every possible outcome of a future conversation. Your thoughts are as overwhelming as the hundreds of lines of text and images pouring down your screen. You ask yourself, “What could I have said better? What could I do to prevent this discomfort in the future?” You feel exhausted yet, sleep doesn't come. What can you do?
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Do you see your teen lounging around--eyes glued to their phone constantly--and worry about what kind of adult they’re going to become? You might be frustrated with your kid’s low energy , with their ability to sleep 17 hours a day, or with how you have to tell them 8 times to unload the dishwasher, and you wonder when they’ll finally get it together.
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“How long does therapy take to start working?” “I've been in therapy over a year, why do I still have the same issues?” “Will I need therapy the rest of my life?” These are important questions that deserve thoughtful consideration. Read on for insights from a therapist who has provided both short and long-term therapy.
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We’ve all had moments where we’ve been less-than-kind to ourselves. We might have struggled to accomplish something and called ourselves either out loud or internally things like failure, lazy, stupid or even worthless. In the moment, it probably doesn’t feel like such a big deal, we might even feel like we deserve it, or we minimize and tell ourselves it isn’t so bad since we only did it once or twice. But the fact of the matter is that word choice is a powerful thing, and every time we direct harsh negativity towards ourselves we are essentially feeding ourselves poison.
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“I want to relax but I feel constantly anxious, like the other shoe is about to drop.”
Hypervigilance can be draining and painful and sometimes makes us feel hopeless. We long for respite from the constant physical tension and the marathon of thoughts running through our heads. How do we swap our experiences of frequent anxiety and fleeting calm for more frequent calm and fleeting anxiety?
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Are you in a relationship with someone who identifies as a highly sensitive person (HSP)? If so, it may not come as news to you that HSPs possess a finely tuned nervous system, making them more attuned to the stimuli, emotions, and subtleties in their environment that can lead to faster overwhelm, burnout, and disconnection than their non-HSP counterparts. Unfortunately, the trait “sensitive” often carries a negative connotation in our culture, and to identify as such has been viewed as a weakness or character flaw historically. The reality, however, is that HSPs bring incredible strengths to relationships like heightened empathy, creativity, and a deep capacity for connection. This blog explores strategies for supporting your partner and nurturing a strong, fulfilling relationship.
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How many times in life have we attempted to have a serious conversation and felt like it derailed? How many times have we entered a discussion and feel baffled by how far from the original point the conversation has flowed? For many attempting to have a serious conversation where we communicate a grievance, concern or address a boundary can be nerve wracking if not anxiety inducing.
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Dear parents,
Here are answers to more frequently asked questions that often pop up for parents searching for services for their child/teen. I hope these insights can help you as you begin sussing out what you are looking for therapeutically.
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There can be so much anxiety when interacting with medical professionals. We wait weeks, maybe even months for an appointment, and the second we get in the room it can feel like all the air has left the space, and we might feel ourselves shrinking and pulling in. The second they start to speak it can feel like all our well grounded points and concerns were a house of cards and we have trouble asserting ourselves due to nerves or anxiety. For many this ends in deferring to the authority of the professional in the room, even if we don’t agree. When we leave we might be left feeling unheard, dissatisfied and sometimes even gaslit.
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“I am so tired but I can’t sleep.”
“Sometimes I don’t realize how tense I am until something starts to hurt.”
“I feel like I’m ALWAYS planning, always trying to anticipate the next thing.”
Simultaneous exhaustion and nervous energy are common experiences for people who struggle with feelings of anxiety. You desperately want to relax but your body and mind just can’t let go. We think to ourselves “If I could just plan enough, do enough, be enough, THEN I can relax.” But this rarely ever happens. How do we get out of this cycle so we can rest?
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Change is hard. We've tried a million times to change in the past and it always works for a time before slowly reverting back to the way it was before. We feel tired, disappointed, and hopeless. “Why do I even try?” we ask ourselves. “There's got to be a better way”.
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Highly sensitive people (HSPs) often possess high levels of empathy, excellent listening skills, and compassion which make us wonderful friends and confidants. But what do we do when we become emotional dumping grounds for others? How do we recognize when this is happening and how can we protect ourselves?
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As therapists, we are aware that it can be overwhelming and anxiety provoking trying to navigate the mental health system for your child – especially if you have never had contact with any kind of mental health support in the past. In hopes of supporting you as you start this journey, here are the answers to some frequently asked therapy questions.
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Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) possess the unique ability to experience the world with deep curiosity and intensity, often making us more attuned to life’s subtleties. In a reality filled with noise and chaos, HSPs navigate emotions in creative ways. For us sensitive souls, music goes beyond the background noise and becomes a therapeutic force - offering solace and comfort. Here are a few ways…
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There’s an app for just about everything at this point so it should come as no surprise that there are apps for venting. When it comes to our teens, the idea of letting them venture into yet another unknown social media realm can feel daunting. So here are a few things to keep in mind if your teen asks to download a venting app, or shares that they have.
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I’ve recently developed a new mini routine in my life, where once a week I walk from my partner’s work to mine. It’s a short walk, we get to save on gas, I get some steps in, and I find that once I arrive at work I feel ready to be present and in the flow. The other day on the radio just before my walk, I heard a classic ACDC song, Hell’s Bells, and I was instantly transported to many different places in my mind. I forgot that I actually like ACDC. It reminded me of my teenage years, of tough scenes in movies, main character energy, and general empowerment and badassery. So I decided to listen to more ACDC on my walk to work: Hells Bells, Highway to Hell, Back in Black, If You Want Blood, a song which always brings me back to the 90’s cult classic movie Empire Records. In this movie, the character Lucas gambles away a significant amount of the record store’s money to save the place from going under. Upon finding that all the money's gone the next morning, the owner Joe becomes vehemently angry with Lucas. As the day goes on, owner Joe confronts more work stressors, the pressure builds, his anger rises, and the only resolve he can find is drumming along cathartically to ACDC.
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While there is a lot of talk about therapy being positive and helpful, a lot of people don’t realize that there are different levels of care. Because of this, some people end up in services that are not the right match for the current severity of their symptoms and this can lead to individuals disengaging from services prematurely if they feel like therapy can’t help them. Below I have outlined the different levels of care to help you better ascertain what your therapeutic needs may be.
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I can’t count how many times I’ve received unsolicited commentary about my sensitivity, especially when attempting to assert a boundary or need. Historically, these comments have come from someone I had some sort of ongoing relationship with but only came up in response to my need or boundary. It’s almost as if my “sensitivity” wasn’t a problem until that very moment. Unfortunately, this experience is all too familiar to many of us. I’d like to offer a different perspective than the problem-saturated, blaming point-of-view we’re used to and hopefully create a little relief or at least clarity for readers.
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Something that many of us hear, but may not have been modeled is how to hold our inner power and set healthy boundaries. Standing in your power and setting healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining your well-being and cultivating healthy relationships. You might ask yourself– What does it look like to stand in your power? Standing in your power means confidently and authentically expressing yourself while taking control of your life and decisions. It involves embracing your inner strength, values, and self-worth. Now this sounds great in theory, but it isn't something that happens over night and needs conscientious practice, self awareness, and validation. I would be remiss to not address that there are various cultural, societal, and systemic oppressions that are created to take our power away. And while that may be true–
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As a parent, watching your teen begin the complex journey of self-discovery and identity development can feel like an emotional roller coaster. At times you may feel at odds with their means of self-expression or find it challenging to broach the conversation about identity with your teen who feels more resistant to opening up than ever before. Finding the balance between respecting your teens' unique journey and desire for greater independence with guidance and support can feel like an impossible juggling act!
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