2131 Capitol Ave. Ste 206
Sacramento, CA 95816
US
916-287-3430
hello@thrivetherapyandcounseling.com
Thrive Therapy & Counseling provides high quality mental health therapy to Highly Sensitive People (hsps), LGBTQIA+ folks, and young adults struggling with anxiety, low self-esteem, or trauma.
This blog is written by therapists in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs), LGBTQIA+ folks, and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves. There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!
Filtering by Category: self care Sacramento
If we can let go of the dogma, the expectations, the institution of religion, the threat of morality etc. and can look at spirituality from the lens of “ that which we cannot see”, or curiosity, it can lead us into a world of supportive practices that are not just helpful to the soul (whether or not you believe in that sort of thing) but can also be helpful to our mental health.
Read MoreEver wonder why feelings of guilt and obligation are so prevalent in your relationships? Many of us grow up in environments that promote a type of familial obligation in which children are thought to owe their parents because the parents "gave them life" or basic necessities like food, shelter, etc. Children who learn this form of familial obligation may get subtly or not-so-subtly guilt-tripped by their parents when they disagree with them, ask for emotional support, or don't want to spend time with them. These guilt trips might include phrases like "After all I've done for you" or "I didn't know I was such a horrible parent". The implication is that though you did not ask to be born, you owe your parents an unlimited amount.
Read MoreAs HSPs, we may spend a significant amount of energy managing our day-to-day lives. Work, home responsibilities, social interactions, and running errands can leave us feeling drained and like we need lots of time to recuperate. This can be tough when we live in a society that values productivity and activity over rest and rejuvenation. It’s easy for self-judgment about what we “ought” to be doing to creep in.
This self-judgment can manifest as a sense of “I’m not doing enough”, “I’m so lazy”, or “What’s wrong with me that I can’t do more?” When these messages are the ones playing loudest and most often in our heads, they interrupt the time we need to recuperate and make it so we can never fully relax. They can also put pressure on our social interactions which can lead them to feel strained or tense. In the end, our self-judgment drains us of even more energy so that we’re not only left feeling exhausted, we feel bad about ourselves as well.
So what can we do?
Recognize where this self-judgment comes from -- We learn these messages and we can unlearn them with time and practice. They may reflect the values of the wider society and/or our peers and family. But do they represent our values? At the end of the day, we’re the ones that must live in our own heads so we must think about the way we talk to ourselves.
Try challenging these messages with questions like “Are all societal/familial values healthy?” or “How does it impact me to buy into this mindset?” or “Who stands to benefit from me buying into the belief that I need to be productive to be valued?”
Start replacing these messages with more realistic and compassionate ones like “Adequate rest is essential to my ability to function at my best.” or “Just because rest and rejuvenation were not valued in my family, doesn’t mean they aren’t valuable and healthy.” and “Taking time to myself helps me to be more available and engaged when I do have to/choose to interact with others.”
Over time, we can begin to build the type of acceptance we need to be more compassionate and understanding towards ourselves and others. When we honor and respect our own boundaries and needs, we bring that to our relationships and interactions as well. With practice, we may start to find that we’re better able to find balance in our lives and finally let go of the self-judgment that’s been holding us back.
Initiating and maintaining these types of practices can be difficult -- don’t be afraid to reach out for support! The therapists at Thrive are here to help.
Best wishes,
Ileana Arganda-Stevens, AMFT #99821
she/hers
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
916-287-3430
thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/ileana-arganda
Have you ever tried to find a sense of peace? Where did you look? What did you do? Attend yoga, meditation classes, use hallucinogens, try out different spiritual practices, or get a massage? If you’ve tried one or all of these things, then you are not alone! Many of us have used a variety of relaxation methods in order to become more peaceful.
Read MoreOn a somewhat regular basis, I try to make sure my kids get outside and eat some dirt. Just kidding about the eating it part! But, we definitely get out to play in the dirt. We ‘garden’ together. The gardening usually consists of me putting plants and soil in pots, then my five year old moving all around - barefooted - digging either in the pots or in the ground, finding worms, collecting acorn ‘hats,’ and finally plunging herself onto the grass.
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