Parents, let’s get real here. If you have a teenager, chances are they have either tried cannabis (pot/weed), are actively using it, or they know another teen who is. And, chances are that at least some of the parents you’ve talked to are in some way co-signing their teen’s pot use. “Oh, it’s just pot,” they may say. Or, “they’re just teenagers, they’ll grow out of it;” “they’re stressed; they’re under so much pressure; they are just blowing off steam.”
Read More
In all relationships—whether with friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, strangers—boundaries exist. The boundaries may be conscious or unconscious, intentional or unintentional. No matter how much or little thought goes into any particular interpersonal boundary, these boundaries guide our interactions. We teach people how to treat us, and they teach us how to treat them, either by what we do or by what we don’t do.
Even though boundaries play a critical role in relationships throughout our lives, we often don’t spend much time talking or thinking about boundaries, unless something goes wrong.
Read More
It’s that time of year again. Summer is coming to an end, and school supplies line the shelves at Target. This year even the weather is cooler. All of this means your teen is either back in school or on the verge of going back. Talk of homework and class schedules, grades and college applications are swirling. Then, there are dances and homecoming and drivers’ licenses and dating.
Back-to-school time brings all of this to the forefront. Summer seems over, and future plans abound. Parents and teens alike want to get started on the right foot.
Read More
We live in a culture that never stops. As we’ve become more global and connected, there’s constant input from everywhere—work demands, friend and family obligations, household chores and errands, not to mention an ongoing information stream on any topic or question we might possibly have. Want ideas for the best way to unclog your bathroom sink? You can go down a rabbit hole of blogs and YouTube videos dedicated to this topic and suddenly an hour has passed and you’re still not sure what you want to do!
Yowzers! For highly sensitive people (HSPs), the demands and input from everyday life can be utterly exhausting AND overwhelming
Read More
In our society, romance is all around us. Ooey-gooey love stories are glamorized and set high expectations for young relationships. Teens may not yet be aware of the fact that relationships are not usually how they are portrayed in TV shows or in the movies. The intensity in these storybook relationships draw teens in, and these skewed expectations are part of what can contribute to how hard teens take their first, or first, few break-ups. In your teen’s eyes, they may have envisioned their first relationship as something that would last a lifetime. They may have fallen so hard and so fast that they couldn’t possibly imagine the relationship would ever end. Your teen taking their break-up hard is really just a part of growing and learning for them. Because, as we all know, it’s called heartbreak for a reason!
Read More
A common struggle for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) is overthinking. “My brain won’t stop,” or, “I can’t turn it off!” or “I’m overanalyzing again” are common refrains. While I know it can be incredibly frustrating and overwhelming at times, all this thinking actually makes a lot of sense for sensitive folks. One of the main characteristics of being highly sensitive is “depth of processing.” This means we think on a super deep level. We take all the information that we’ve been absorbing from our environment—another core feature of being an HSP being that we notice a lot about the world around us—and dive into our thoughts about situations, other people, our own actions, our beliefs and values or maybe even just a comment we made or a look we gave. If we’re worried or stressed, this can be great fodder for our overthinking brain to take us down the rabbit hole.
Read More
We are what we eat, think, and believe.
It is a simple statement, yet like a ripe and ready-to-eat onion, it’s got layers to it. We live in a fast-paced, demanding, and overly stimulating world that requires vast amounts of energy, time, and attention. Sometimes the last thing on our minds is eating. Especially in a world saturated with ready-to-eat, fast-food, to-go options.
Read More
We are what we eat, think, and believe.
It is a simple statement, yet like a ripe and ready to eat onion, it’s got layers to it. We live in a fast-paced, demanding, and overly stimulating world that requires vast amounts of energy, time, and attention. Sometimes the last thing on our minds is eating. Especially in a world saturated with ready-to-eat, fast-food, to-go options.
For most of us, it is hard to think straight when we’re hungry, or if we’ve had an emotional or stressful day. Many of us go for convenience rather than cooking something at home. Fast-food was created to be faster, easier, and everywhere. Or at least this is the justification you use while going through the drive-thru at In-N-Out in between errands. You then order that delicious double-double animal-style burger, fries and soda.
Read More
Summer’s on the horizon, and a lot of people are gearing up for travel and vacations. Whether you may be heading out to enjoy some time in nature, relaxing on the beach or hopping on a plane, travel for a sensitive person can be both exhilarating and overwhelming. However, for highly sensitive people, it’s so necessary to take a break from the grind of life.
Read More
The teen years are that transitional time when teens take (or maybe shove) their parents off the metaphorical pedestal and, instead, put most (or all) of their time, energy, attention and concern into their friendships, peers and dating relationships. This can be so hard for parents! I mean, who wants to go from being someone’s hero to being ignored, dismissed or sometimes even seeming despised?! Ugh! But, as difficult as this change can be, parents can hold on to knowing that it’s not personal. Really. No matter what your teen may say, it’s not about you.
Read More
How many times do we hear people say, “Don’t sweat the small stuff!” “Stop making mountains out of molehills.” “Just let it go!” Then, for sensitive folks, how many ways do we beat ourselves up for not being able to do these very things? “There’s something wrong with me.” “Why can’t I be like other people?” “Why do things get to me so much?” This questioning and blaming, naturally, leads to negative thoughts and judgments about ourselves, which then makes us feel (in technical terms) like shit.
Read More
Let’s face it. At one point during our younger educational years, the thought, “School sucks!” crossed our minds. There’s no denying that sometimes it seemed like the grind of going to school, day in and day out, was a waste of time. I’ve heard more than a few people talk about how pointless it felt to be learning subjects that they had no passion for or interest in. Yet, they persisted and made every effort to succeed with high scores and high achievements in order to achieve the ultimate goal: determine what to be for life -- get accepted to a good college -- secure a good future.
The pressure is on even more these days with older teens facing an undeniable time of reckoning--deciding what they want to ‘become.’
Read More
We live in such a busy, fast-paced culture. If we’re not working 40, 50, 60+ hours each week, we’re running from the grocery store to the cleaners to the (fill-in-the-blank), cooking dinner and worrying about whether to be low carb or plant-based or just eat what we want. We might be driving kids to their sports practice or rushing off to get in a quick workout at the gym. However we fill our days, most of us have a LOT going on! No wonder we get overwhelmed.
Of course, there are a couple of problems with being overwhelmed. . .
Read More
How would you fill in this blank today? You have the right to need ______________. Quiet time? Acceptance? Time spent outdoors? Love? Snuggles from your partner? Gentleness? Validation?
Highly sensitive people (HSPs) tend to struggle with and fight against their own needs. We may try to talk ourselves out of our needs (“It’s my problem; I just need to get over it.”), or shove down our needs to try to make them disappear (by bingeing on Netflix or having one more glass of wine to distract ourselves). We may even try to guilt ourselves out of our needs—“There are so many people in the world who don’t have running water. It’s not ok for me to be worried about my hurt feelings.” Any of this sound familiar, dear sensitive souls?
Read More
“My parents just don’t understand me.”
“My kid doesn’t listen to anything I say!”
“My mom’s always yelling at me.”
“I have to tell him 5,000 times, and he still doesn’t do anything!”
“I get in trouble for everything!”
“I give one simple rule, and she can’t even follow it.”
Sound familiar? These are the kinds of statements we often hear from teens and their parents in the therapy room. Teens and parents can feel like they are speaking two entirely different languages with no translator, and the end result is that everybody ends up frustrated, hurt and unheard or misunderstood.
Read More