For most of us, self-compassion does not come easily. We more commonly speak to ourselves with self-criticism, often learned early in life from our caregivers, school, and our hyper-individualistic and competitive society. We believe that if we criticize ourselves, we will protect ourselves from being criticized and judged by others. We aim to be perfect so that we can feel safe. In reality, self-criticism only exacerbates suffering.
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Change is an essential and unavoidable part of being alive. While life transitions can be exciting opportunities for learning, growth, and self-reflection, they can also feel stressful, confusing, and filled with uncertainty. During these times of transition, we can turn to imagery from the natural world for grounding and support:
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Harvest, shorter days, autumn, fall. When Persephone is called back to the Underworld, when we are confronted with shadows, when the earth begins to prepare for it’s winter slumber. A time of year when we are asked to confront death whether figuratively, metaphorically, symbolically or literally. Many of us associate this season with reflection and nostalgia. For some this is a comforting time, for others it can be emotionally overwhelming and even painful. Death, whether literal or symbolic represents a time of change, a significant transition in our lives, a time of loss and a time of mourning. A time of process into renewal. Inin order to be transformed by this inevitable process, we must lean in to mourn what once was and embrace what we might be becoming.
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As we move along in therapy and begin exploring some of the possible contributors to challenges we face, it can feel like we see patterns everywhere! We may think, “I’ve been handling things the same way forever!” “Will I ever be able to change?” “I’m turning out just like my parents!” No worries! This is a super common feeling to have and it does NOT mean you’re doomed to repeat the past.
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