What? Self-compassion? As soon as you read the word, how many of you thought, “Sounds like some touchy-feely, mumbo jumbo phrase to make everybody feel better with really earning it”? That message is EXACTLY what society tells us to think. Our culture excels at teaching us to be critical, exacting, perfectionistic and to promptly lash into ourselves in any moment when we don’t live up to these impossible standards. “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!” “Don’t be a crybaby.” “Be all that you can be.” “Always do your best.” Sheesh, I feel my shoulders sagging under all this weight just by writing these messages out! It makes for an exhausting and harsh life when you adhere to such beliefs.
For us HSPs, we’re even more susceptible to taking what others teach us to heart and of reaaaally carrying the load of such messages.
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I’m not sure if anything excites and calms me as much as the ocean. The first sight of it from a car window never fails to stir my soul. It suddenly transports me back to childhood memories and the thrill of anticipation—all the fun, adventure and exploration waiting to be had. Plus, being from the east coast, the beauty of the Pacific ignites a new sort of eagerness for me, one filled with traveling to new places and experiencing something different.
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“My kid is running me to the ground”… “I can’t go two days without the school calling me about her behavior!”… “I am at my wits end…” “I’ve tried everything—punishments, rewards, time-outs, ignoring, everything! Nothing works. He’s out of control!”
These are statements I often hear from parents who call seeking therapy for their child.
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Anyone here ever struggled with setting a boundary? Ever agonized over a decision that would be easily made by someone else? Yep, my hand is raised high on this one! Setting boundaries is hard. And, oh-so-necessary. And did I mention hard? For many of us HSPs, setting boundaries does not come naturally.
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We all worry about bullying and cyber-bullying faced by our kids. Kids bullying kids, and teens bullying teens are HUGE topics of concerns. But today, I want to focus on a sneakier version of bullying, and it’s one that parents may unknowingly model to their kids!
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It’s 7:46pm. Dinner’s over, dishes are loaded, and you’re ready to relax to some much needed TV Zen time. Scandal is on tonight which fills your heart with glee, and you wonder if you’re feeling in a white or red wine mood. Then another thought hits you— your son hasn’t finished his math homework yet. All thoughts of relaxing with a glass of wine are dashed and anxiety steps in instead of Olivia Pope. A sense of dread fills you because you know that convincing your son to finish his homework is gonna be rough. It shouldn’t be this hard, right? But it is.
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Hi there. How are you? Ohhh, you sound a little tired, a bit worn down, kinda draggy and not quite your best self. Ever tell yourself that if you could just get yourself to do X, you’re pretty sure your life would shift in the direction you want? Ever feel like you need some space and support to actually face big changes or big feelings so that you can move through them? Well, my friend, I’m writing this letter for you. We’ve all been there--life can become so hectic with all the “must do’s” that we never quite get around to the “it would make me feel so much better if I . . . do’s”.
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Uncertainty. It's a word that dredges up dread and fear in the hearts of most of us. We usually do our best to fight against uncertainty, ignore it or at least, remain in complete denial. Yet, we live with uncertainty every single day, even though most of us go around pretending as if we have total control. Then, when we come face-to-face with the realization that we, in fact, do not have complete control, or when we find ourselves in a situation that's not familiar or predictable, we may fall apart. We may become obsessed with the fact that we do not know what to expect, and sometimes we let this unravel us or create so much anxiety that we check out of our lives and get stuck in our heads.
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