Rest: What Actually Restores Us?

A variety of things might come to your mind when you think about rest. Many of us likely have different definitions of what rest looks or feels like, and we may go about it differently based on our own understandings, backgrounds, and lifestyles. 

I would argue that we live in a society that greatly devalues true rest, and the idea of self-care can sometimes feel like an uphill battle or a bit of a meaningless word at this point. It can feel daunting, like we need to schedule in this elusive self-care into our already packed days. Some of us might only find ourselves resting when we go to sleep at night and find that our bodies and minds do not feel refreshed the next day, even when we get a good night’s sleep. We live in a society that greatly values efficiency and productivity, and downplays the human need for rest. You may even feel you need to “earn” rest by being productive; but rest is a human need, not something you must earn. 

Real rest isn't just the absence of activity, it's the presence of restoration. True rest replenishes your energy, calms your nervous system, and leaves you feeling more centered and capable. It engages your body's parasympathetic nervous system, the "rest and digest" mode that allows for actual recovery and healing. 

What do you find yourself doing in a moment of taking a break, or resting? Here are some things that many of us probably do sometimes that are not actually restful activities. 

Activities That Masquerade as Rest, But Really Aren’t: 

Scrolling Social Media: Most of us are probably familiar with this due to the ubiquity of smartphones in this day and age. While it feels passive, social media actually overstimulates your brain with constant micro-decisions and emotional reactions. You're processing hundreds of pieces of information, comparing yourself to others, and often experiencing anxiety or envy. 

Binge-Watching TV: TV keeps your brain in a state of passive stimulation. The constant visual and auditory input prevents true mental rest, and the blue light disrupts your circadian rhythms. 

Shopping (Online or In-Person): Even casual browsing requires decision-making and often triggers stress about money, comparison, or desire for things you don't have. 

Busy Social Activities: While socializing can be rejuvenating, packed social calendars with surface-level interactions can be draining rather than restorative. 

Multi-tasking "Relaxation": Listening to a podcast while cleaning, checking emails during your lunch break, or scrolling your phone while watching TV splits your attention and prevents genuine rest. 

Questions to Ask Yourself

After an activity you consider "restful," notice how you feel: 

Am I more energized or more drained? 

Is my mind quieter or more stimulated? 

Do I feel more present or more scattered? 

Am I looking forward to tomorrow or dreading it? 

Genuinely Restorative Activities To Try 

Meditation and Mindfulness: Even 10-15 minutes of genuine stillness, focusing on your breath or body sensations, can reset your nervous system more effectively than hours of passive entertainment. 

Time in Nature: Walking slowly in a park, sitting by water, or simply being outdoors without an agenda has been scientifically proven to reduce cortisol levels and restore mental clarity. 

Gentle Movement: Restorative yoga, stretching, or leisurely walks engage your body without taxing it, promoting circulation and relaxation. 

Creative Expression: Drawing, writing, playing music, or crafting can be deeply restorative when done without pressure or goals—just for the joy of creation. 

Deep Conversations: Meaningful connections with friends or family can be profoundly restful, providing emotional release and a feeling of togetherness. 

Reading Physical Books: Unlike screens, books allow your eyes to rest while engaging your imagination in a calming way. 

If you’re looking to add more true rest into your life, start small. Replace just 15 minutes of scrolling with 15 minutes of genuine rest and notice how you feel. Our productivity-obsessed culture has taught us that rest is lazy or indulgent, or needs to look a certain way, but the truth is that real rest makes everything else in your life more effective and enjoyable. 

Remember, rest is not a reward you must earn by being “productive enough”—it's a fundamental human need that enables you to show up fully for what matters to you. 

Warmly, 

Lauren Ash, AMFT #140948
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT # 51714
she/her