Denial: Taking Off Our Blinders
Ileana Arganda-Stevens
Our emotions are kind of like our friends and relatives, not all of them are welcome at our house! We may feel close and welcoming toward our Aunt Joy, but cold and distant toward Uncle Anger – “I barely know him, and…he's KINDA weird!” Unlike our friends and relatives, we don't get to choose if our emotions are part of our lives – they're here to stay, whether we like it or not. When emotions are unwelcome or unfamiliar, we may use defense mechanisms to deal with them. One such defense mechanism is denial. When we use denial to keep certain emotions at a distance, it can have unintended consequences – we may experience repeated feelings of being “stuck”, numb, confused, or even anxious about certain things and we just don't know why. By learning how to recognize and work with denial, we can become more comfortable with distant emotions and increase our awareness, agency, and self-assuredness.
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