The Tower. One of the most feared images and archetypes in the Tarot. A symbol of significant, profound change, often unwanted and unexpected. The kind of change that might invite symptoms that meet criteria for an adjustment disorder. Debilitating sadness, grief, fear, dread, anger, confusion. All difficult feelings we might experience with a life altering moment such as a death, a trauma, divorce, eviction, a traumatic injury, or job loss. When we are in the throes of The Tower, it can be difficult to see which way is up and which way is down. It requires a certain kind of surrender as these walls come crashing down, for resisting this change would only lead to injury or destruction.
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Ever notice that taking responsibility can feel scary sometimes? Like you'd rather let someone else make decisions for you? Or maybe you avoid taking control of your finances because you feel bad at math or you feel ashamed you don't know more about budgeting. Perhaps you leave everything up to the universe and hope for the best while fearing the worst. You are NOT alone!
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The parents I’ve worked with over the years care deeply about setting a good example for their teens, guiding them, and showing them love. This may be a part of why there can be a sense of shame around “getting it wrong” with their kids. Society and parents themselves can set almost impossible standards at times for what constitutes “good parenting”. This can make human error, challenges, and unexpected outcomes feel scary. We feel so much empathy for teens when they make mistakes or face challenges but don’t always give parents the same grace.
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Throughout my time in private practice, I have come to notice a theme amongst my clients around their self-worth. More specifically, what it is tied to, which tends to be their productivity and net worth. I heard a quote once that really resonated with me and it stated that most people these days “wear their burnout like a badge of honor”. I am not sure about you, but that is not a badge I would like to earn (former girl scout speaking here) and it pains me to know how many of us do this so consciously and willingly. When people equate their net worth with their self-worth, I have witnessed a plethora of mental health issues including; difficulty being present, sitting with oneself and struggles with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
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One of the hardest things we can experience in life is the realization that a relationship is not working out. I’m not just referring to romantic relationships but our relationships with friends and family as well. You’ve tried your best to communicate with the person, you may have even sought therapy for yourself or as a pair to try and resolve your struggles, but things just aren’t getting better. Or, if things do get better, it’s only for a short while and before you know it, you’re back to feeling anxious about talking with them, frustrated at not being listened to, or saddened that you’re just not able to be yourself around them.
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Ever feel like you’re just not as far along as you should be with managing things like finances, your health, or care for yourself and your home? Is it a struggle to motivate? Are you scared to ask for help from other adults because they might judge you? There might be good reasons you’re feeling this way and they might stem from childhood.
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Our phones are really good at keeping us focused on anything but the present moment, what is right here right now. And like most of us this feeling or experience probably occurs multiple times a day.
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A core belief is a deeply rooted and often subconscious perception of ourselves and the world around us. These beliefs act like a filter through which we view ourselves and our actions and judge them as good or bad. These belief systems are shaped by our experiences and our interpretations of these experiences. Many of us develop negative core beliefs. This is when we start to believe that something is inherently bad or wrong with us or the world around us. For example: “I am worthless” “I am not good enough” “I have to be perfect” “I cannot trust others”. These beliefs are often generalizations about things that we may even logically recognize as inaccurate.
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Crying easily is something many HSPs deal with in their day-to-day life. There are times when your nerves feel raw or you feel like a water balloon and every person and situation you encounter has a pin that could cause you to burst into tears at any moment. Crying in front of others can feel quite vulnerable and many of us may have even had experiences of people reacting insensitively to our tears.
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Despite our best efforts to be rational and reasonable thinkers, many of us fall into the trap of thinking mistakes, also known as cognitive distortions. There are a number of common cognitive distortions that most people make, one of them being Black and White / All-or-Nothing Thinking. This is when you believe that only one thing can be true to the exclusion of all else. It’s believing that there is only one truth and leaving no space for other options, opinions, or thoughts.
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Lately, in my personal and professional life, I have noticed a common theme. What I have noticed is how hard it can be to make the transition from having a child in the home to having one out of the home. I wanted to create a guide to assist “empty nesters” with living a full life after their child has moved out. If you have been able to raise an independent child, that is a sign that you have found some success as a parent! Unfortunately, after celebrating this milestone many parents are left wondering what to do without kids around.
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As we move along in therapy and begin exploring some of the possible contributors to challenges we face, it can feel like we see patterns everywhere! We may think, “I’ve been handling things the same way forever!” “Will I ever be able to change?” “I’m turning out just like my parents!” No worries! This is a super common feeling to have and it does NOT mean you’re doomed to repeat the past.
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As the new year progresses, many of us are reflecting on our relationships and interactions with others. We may feel frustrated by the amount of energy it seems to take to interact with some people. Or perhaps there are certain behaviors that really get under our skin. Whatever the case, we come away from these interactions feeling as though we’ve given our all to be patient, to communicate, and be courteous while others seem to take us for granted.
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