You know that old saying, “What do we do when we fall? - We get back up!”? It seems that our youth are really struggling with mastering this important life skill. There is a trend of perfectionism and a lack of resilience among teens that has caught the attention of mental health and education professionals, as well as parents. When we have adolescents who can’t bounce back from failure (i.e. are not resilient) and aren’t given the appropriate level of independence they need for healthy development, we end up with young adults who are incredibly anxious and depressed.Read More
This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves. There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!
Filtering by Category: parenting teens
Do you see your teen lounging around--eyes glued to their phone constantly--and worry about what kind of adult they’re going to become and what on earth they’re going to do with their lives? You might be frustrated with their lack of caring . . . about seemingly anything serious or with their ability to sleep 17 hours a day or with how you have to tell them 8 times to unload the dishwasher, and you wonder when they’ll fiiiiinally get it together.Read More
Is your teen coming home sad, angry, and/or anxious? Is your teen isolating and withdrawing from family members when they get home from school? You may be wondering whether their mood is caused by normal teenage emotions or whether something else is happening at school that may be contributing.
Teens are constantly comparing themselves to unrealistic expectations of beauty. They have images of flawless people that are portrayed everywhere they look in social media, TV, movies, and magazines. Teens are not thinking about the fact that the majority of these people have gone through plastic surgery to look the way that they do and that these so-called “flawless people” have their photos airbrushed and photo-shopped in order for them to appear so perfect. Instead, they're asking themselves questions like “Why do I not look perfect like them?”Read More
Parents, let’s get real here. If you have a teenager, chances are they have either tried cannabis (pot/weed), are actively using it, or they know another teen who is. And, chances are that at least some of the parents you’ve talked to are in some way co-signing their teen’s pot use. “Oh, it’s just pot,” they may say. Or, “they’re just teenagers, they’ll grow out of it;” “they’re stressed; they’re under so much pressure; they are just blowing off steam.”Read More
It’s that time of year again. Summer is coming to an end, and school supplies line the shelves at Target. This year even the weather is cooler. All of this means your teen is either back in school or on the verge of going back. Talk of homework and class schedules, grades and college applications are swirling. Then, there are dances and homecoming and drivers’ licenses and dating.
Back-to-school time brings all of this to the forefront. Summer seems over, and future plans abound. Parents and teens alike want to get started on the right foot.
In our society, romance is all around us. Ooey-gooey love stories are glamorized and set high expectations for young relationships. Teens may not yet be aware of the fact that relationships are not usually how they are portrayed in TV shows or in the movies. The intensity in these storybook relationships draw teens in, and these skewed expectations are part of what can contribute to how hard teens take their first, or first, few break-ups. In your teen’s eyes, they may have envisioned their first relationship as something that would last a lifetime. They may have fallen so hard and so fast that they couldn’t possibly imagine the relationship would ever end. Your teen taking their break-up hard is really just a part of growing and learning for them. Because, as we all know, it’s called heartbreak for a reason!Read More
We are what we eat, think, and believe.
It is a simple statement, yet like a ripe and ready-to-eat onion, it’s got layers to it. We live in a fast-paced, demanding, and overly stimulating world that requires vast amounts of energy, time, and attention. Sometimes the last thing on our minds is eating. Especially in a world saturated with ready-to-eat, fast-food, to-go options.
Let’s face it. At one point during our younger educational years, the thought, “School sucks!” crossed our minds. There’s no denying that sometimes it seemed like the grind of going to school, day in and day out, was a waste of time. I’ve heard more than a few people talk about how pointless it felt to be learning subjects that they had no passion for or interest in. Yet, they persisted and made every effort to succeed with high scores and high achievements in order to achieve the ultimate goal: determine what to be for life -- get accepted to a good college -- secure a good future.
The pressure is on even more these days with older teens facing an undeniable time of reckoning--deciding what they want to ‘become.’Read More
“My parents just don’t understand me.”
“My kid doesn’t listen to anything I say!”
“My mom’s always yelling at me.”
“I have to tell him 5,000 times, and he still doesn’t do anything!”
“I get in trouble for everything!”
“I give one simple rule, and she can’t even follow it.”
Sound familiar? These are the kinds of statements we often hear from teens and their parents in the therapy room. Teens and parents can feel like they are speaking two entirely different languages with no translator, and the end result is that everybody ends up frustrated, hurt and unheard or misunderstood.Read More
Recently, I learned about a smartphone app that left me confused and shaking my head in wonderment. By the way, anyone else here feel like there’s some NEW app or online program or device to worry about Every. Single. Day? Uh huh, me too. No wonder so many parents and families and schools are trying to sort out how to educate and protect kids in this millennium!Read More
There MUST be boundaries around technology! Yup, I said it. Boundaries are a must-have when raising a child today in a digitally dominated era. I see more and more teens come into my office with their phones dinging and buzzing in their hands—demanding their precious attention and time. And, we all know how tantalizing those notifications are—ever tried not to check your phone when you know you just received a text?
This is where boundaries come in. Boundaries are how we create safe and constructive separations around people, places, and things. As adults, we have boundaries for all kinds of things—not sharing Trump’s latest Tweet at the dinner table, saving that beer for the end of our workday or not checking our work emails on Sundays. Boundaries keep us in a healthy check with the world and its multitude of demands and distractions.Read More
Parenting in the digital age is tough! Parents are constantly asking: “Should I monitor my teens Facebook? What are they posting on Snapchat? Should I even be worried?”I mean, it’s not like you get a “How To” guide on monitoring Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook or YouTube! It’s natural to be a little anxious on what your teen is possibly being exposed to or doing online. (Especially after you’ve already being declined as a ‘friend’ on your teens’ facebook.)
Disclaimer: this article covers a particularly sensitive topic—teens sending one another graphic images. If this isn’t a topic you want to explore, best to stop reading here.Read More
Parents, have you ever had an experience like this? You’re standing in the kitchen, it’s a beautiful weekend morning, and your teenager strolls in and begins rummaging through the pantry. You admire and love your kid and sincerely ask, “How are you doing this morning?” Instead of getting what you might consider a normal human response, you receive a glare that could turn a giant to stone. “I’m fine,” replies your teen in a monotone voice. Then comes a quick huffing, stomping, and under-the-breath comments about minding your own business. You’re left confused and wondering what the heck just happened. Well, you’re not alone!Read More