You know that old saying, “What do we do when we fall? - We get back up!”? It seems that our youth are really struggling with mastering this important life skill. There is a trend of perfectionism and a lack of resilience among teens that has caught the attention of mental health and education professionals, as well as parents. When we have adolescents who can’t bounce back from failure (i.e. are not resilient) and aren’t given the appropriate level of independence they need for healthy development, we end up with young adults who are incredibly anxious and depressed.Read More
This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves. There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!
Filtering by Tag: child therapist
Our society has made suicide a taboo topic to talk about, which is unfortunate since suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15 to 24 year old Americans. Despite the myth, talking about suicide does not lead people to commit suicide. In fact, talking honestly about suicide can be a tool for prevention. Being open to talking with your teen about their feelings and about any thoughts of self-harm can actually help educate and support them with their mental health needs.Read More
You may have heard of DBT but have no idea what it is actually used for. Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT is a form of mental health treatment originally developed for adults who struggled with extremely intense and unstable emotions, as well as self-injurious behaviors like cutting and chronic suicidal thinking. Dr. Marsha Linehan is credited with creating this model of treatment, and over the past 30 years, it’s been found very beneficial for all kinds of issues, like depression, anxiety, impulsivity, eating disorders, etc.Read More
Do you see your teen lounging around--eyes glued to their phone constantly--and worry about what kind of adult they’re going to become and what on earth they’re going to do with their lives? You might be frustrated with their lack of caring . . . about seemingly anything serious or with their ability to sleep 17 hours a day or with how you have to tell them 8 times to unload the dishwasher, and you wonder when they’ll fiiiiinally get it together.Read More
Is your teen coming home sad, angry, and/or anxious? Is your teen isolating and withdrawing from family members when they get home from school? You may be wondering whether their mood is caused by normal teenage emotions or whether something else is happening at school that may be contributing.
Teens are constantly comparing themselves to unrealistic expectations of beauty. They have images of flawless people that are portrayed everywhere they look in social media, TV, movies, and magazines. Teens are not thinking about the fact that the majority of these people have gone through plastic surgery to look the way that they do and that these so-called “flawless people” have their photos airbrushed and photo-shopped in order for them to appear so perfect. Instead, they're asking themselves questions like “Why do I not look perfect like them?”Read More
Parents, let’s get real here. If you have a teenager, chances are they have either tried cannabis (pot/weed), are actively using it, or they know another teen who is. And, chances are that at least some of the parents you’ve talked to are in some way co-signing their teen’s pot use. “Oh, it’s just pot,” they may say. Or, “they’re just teenagers, they’ll grow out of it;” “they’re stressed; they’re under so much pressure; they are just blowing off steam.”Read More
It’s that time of year again. Summer is coming to an end, and school supplies line the shelves at Target. This year even the weather is cooler. All of this means your teen is either back in school or on the verge of going back. Talk of homework and class schedules, grades and college applications are swirling. Then, there are dances and homecoming and drivers’ licenses and dating.
Back-to-school time brings all of this to the forefront. Summer seems over, and future plans abound. Parents and teens alike want to get started on the right foot.
In our society, romance is all around us. Ooey-gooey love stories are glamorized and set high expectations for young relationships. Teens may not yet be aware of the fact that relationships are not usually how they are portrayed in TV shows or in the movies. The intensity in these storybook relationships draw teens in, and these skewed expectations are part of what can contribute to how hard teens take their first, or first, few break-ups. In your teen’s eyes, they may have envisioned their first relationship as something that would last a lifetime. They may have fallen so hard and so fast that they couldn’t possibly imagine the relationship would ever end. Your teen taking their break-up hard is really just a part of growing and learning for them. Because, as we all know, it’s called heartbreak for a reason!Read More
We are what we eat, think, and believe.
It is a simple statement, yet like a ripe and ready-to-eat onion, it’s got layers to it. We live in a fast-paced, demanding, and overly stimulating world that requires vast amounts of energy, time, and attention. Sometimes the last thing on our minds is eating. Especially in a world saturated with ready-to-eat, fast-food, to-go options.
The teen years are that transitional time when teens take (or maybe shove) their parents off the metaphorical pedestal and, instead, put most (or all) of their time, energy, attention and concern into their friendships, peers and dating relationships. This can be so hard for parents! I mean, who wants to go from being someone’s hero to being ignored, dismissed or sometimes even seeming despised?! Ugh! But, as difficult as this change can be, parents can hold on to knowing that it’s not personal. Really. No matter what your teen may say, it’s not about you.
Let’s face it. At one point during our younger educational years, the thought, “School sucks!” crossed our minds. There’s no denying that sometimes it seemed like the grind of going to school, day in and day out, was a waste of time. I’ve heard more than a few people talk about how pointless it felt to be learning subjects that they had no passion for or interest in. Yet, they persisted and made every effort to succeed with high scores and high achievements in order to achieve the ultimate goal: determine what to be for life -- get accepted to a good college -- secure a good future.
The pressure is on even more these days with older teens facing an undeniable time of reckoning--deciding what they want to ‘become.’Read More
“My parents just don’t understand me.”
“My kid doesn’t listen to anything I say!”
“My mom’s always yelling at me.”
“I have to tell him 5,000 times, and he still doesn’t do anything!”
“I get in trouble for everything!”
“I give one simple rule, and she can’t even follow it.”
Sound familiar? These are the kinds of statements we often hear from teens and their parents in the therapy room. Teens and parents can feel like they are speaking two entirely different languages with no translator, and the end result is that everybody ends up frustrated, hurt and unheard or misunderstood.Read More
Imagine this scenario:
You notice something is off. Every time you ask your teen daughter how she is doing, she just says, “I’m fine.” It’s frustrating because you know there’s more going on than “just fine” because you are feeling it. You’ve felt the shift in her behavior and mood for a while now. Maybe you’ve even asked Dr. Google late at night, putting in her behaviors and words— searching desperately for answers to that nagging in your gut that something is wrong.
Do you notice that your teen goes through these times when it seems like their entire body has been overtaken by emotion? Almost as if they’ve been consumed by a strange creature, and you’re not sure what’s going to be left when it’s all said and done?? You see a full-on Hulk standing in your living room where your once-lovely child was.
Yep, most teens go through times of HUGE emotions, and most parents of teens have been there, seen that! Due to the physiological processes occurring in teens as their brains grow and develop and as their hormones and body chemistry changes, feeling really big feelings is something most teens experience from time to time. And, it ain’t pretty. Not for teens and not for those who love them. Often, parents can feel like, “Wait, seriously? Seriously? We’re doing this AGAIN?”