Getting the Most Out of Coping Mechanisms
Ivy Griffin
If you’ve been in therapy before you might be familiar with the idea of coping skills and tools. They can include anything from deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation (PMR), journaling, tapping, and visualization-there are so many wonderful methods to support self regulation. But did you know that most coping skills and tools can be used both reactively and proactively?
When we use coping skills reactively, which tends to be how we first learn to integrate them, we use that tool in response to a stressor (feelings of anxiety, depression, irritability/anger) to help us self-regulate. For example someone might feel panic begin to mount and elect to use a deep breathing technique to help self regulate. In this example they are responding and reacting to the distress by implementing a coping strategy.
However, it can be helpful to implement some of our coping mechanisms proactively. When we implement coping skills and tools proactively we are supporting ourselves in grounding and centering, this helps reduce the likelihood of our emotions rising to difficult to manage levels and becoming dysregulated. An example of using a coping strategy proactively might be by choosing to implement a short deep breathing routine at the start of each day. Again, in this example no distress has yet occurred, but the tool is being implemented before anything has happened to support the individual in grounding and centering.
Another benefit to using coping strategies proactively is that it helps build muscle memory. Often in therapy when I share a new coping skill or tool with a client one of the chief complaints is forgetting or not being able to access the tool during moments of dysregulation when it’s needed most. By practicing the coping strategy proactively, we build the muscle memory around the coping mechanism and are more likely to remember or easily access the tool.
Coping skills and tools are wonderful ways to support our ability to self regulate and they can be used in many wonderful ways. I encourage you to reflect on how you use your own coping mechanisms. Is it reactive, proactive or a little of both? And consider would it be helpful to integrate a little more of a proactive approach to get more out of your coping strategies in your quest to self regulate?
With warm regards,
Megan Bell, LMFT # 114303
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
2131 Capitol Ave, Suite 306
Sacramento, CA, 95816