1614 X St., Suite A
Sacramento, CA 95818
US
916-287-3430
ivy@thrivetherapyandcounseling.com
Thrive Therapy & Counseling provides high quality therapy to Highly Sensitive People and to kids, teens or adults struggling with anxiety, depression or self-esteem.
This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves. There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!
Filtering by Category: highly sensitive person
I often hear the frustration and sadness and defeat in the voices of highly sensitive people (HSP) when they share how they become more emotional, overwhelmed, shut down, or worn out in situations that don’t seem to affect other people. This difference can make HSPs feel like outsiders, like there must be something wrong with them because they are “abnormal” compared to everyone around them.
Read MoreBeing highly sensitive definitely has its ups and downs. In a culture that often devalues vulnerability, we can get the message that sensitivity is undesirable or “weak” and we should try our best to suppress it. But as I always say, there are two sides to everything. Let’s look at the other side of the coin and see if it can help us to appreciate our sensitivity.
Read MoreWhat are some of the characteristics of HSPs? We don't like loud noises, making mistakes, we need reassurance, are easily startled, it takes us longer to adjust to significant life changes, we feel overwhelmed when there’s a lot going on at once, and other’s moods deeply affect us. We also have strong emotional attunement and empathy. We care more! Being a parent means there’s constant chaos, rushing, less time for basic needs like eating/sleeping/bathing much, limited time for self-care, huge changes, hourly and persistent loud noises. When challenges are not addressed, this can lead to emotional reactivity, guilt, struggles with anxiety/depression, feeling lonely/disconnected and low self-value.
Read MoreDo you experience cycles of emotional overwhelm? Does it feel like things will be running relatively smoothly and then all-of-a-sudden you’re slammed with anxiety and overwhelm and spend the next few days or weeks trying to recover? You might be thinking “Why can’t I just be normal all the time?” Well I’d like to offer some perspective on what might be contributing to this cycle and how you might break it.
Read MoreI often hear from highly sensitive people (HSPs) how different and alone they feel. “I’m too sensitive,” “I need to grow a thicker skin,” “Why can’t I just let it go like everyone else?” are common refrains. Such beliefs often stem from a lifetime of conscious and unconscious messages from well-meaning and not-so-well-meaning people about how there’s something wrong with the way you are. And, the reality is--highly sensitive people are not the norm. We know this because research has found that 15-20% of people in any given population in any given culture carry the personality trait of being highly sensitive.
Read MoreDon't get me wrong; I like the holidays. Or at least most of what the holidays are about. But sometimes they can be somewhat overwhelming. I like Christmas music, but hearing it everywhere 24/7 for two months is too much for me. I also like holiday parties. But seven family gatherings, five friend parties and three work shebangs in one month can weigh me down.
Read MoreImagine that you’re at a party or gathering at a friend’s house. As a highly sensitive person, you may have felt some anxiety or dread about going to the party and having to make small talk. Some of the folks in attendance are friends, and you gravitate toward talking to them. But, you notice a couple of people who hang back and don’t seem to know many others. Your empathy kicks in, and you decide to go chat with them to help them feel more welcome. While you’re talking, another person or two joins in the conversation and brings up a political issue you care about deeply. As you passionately discuss the matter, you add in how you cannot understand anyone who thinks otherwise. The person you initially approached quietly says, “I disagree” and wanders away.
Read MoreDo you ever feel frustrated when you're trying to figure out where the voice of your inner critic came from? Or why it's so strong? Perhaps your therapist has even asked you this in sessions and you repeatedly draw a blank. This can be so frustrating when we're trying to make sense of things and find some relief.
Read MoreFor people who identify as highly sensitive or empathic, intense embarrassment and shame might be particularly difficult experiences. Making a mistake can be followed by intense physical sensations and emotions: your face gets hot, your heart rate spikes, and sometimes you may even want to disappear. While this is normal and might even feel manageable for some, people who are highly sensitive may struggle to recover from these feelings. It can be such a shock to the system that they may ruminate for hours or days on the incident that led them to feel this way, trying to understand what happened or worse, being hard on themselves about it.
Read MoreIf you are reading this blog post, you likely identify as a Highly Sensitive Person. So, you know that as an HSP, you can become pretty easily overwhelmed by the world around you. Highly Sensitive People are sensitive to both environmental and emotional stimuli, which can lead to anxiety and burnout. As an HSP, boundary-setting is crucial for protecting your energy and wellbeing. It is important to say "no" when you feel overloaded, and to take time to recharge.
Read MoreIt’s no surprise that HSPs are overrepresented among the ranks of musicians and other artists in our society. Tapping into the imagination and being open and receptive to inspiration require a great degree of sensitivity. Yet there is a paradox here for creative folks. Artists are people who, on one hand, devote their energies to sharing their innermost worlds with listeners, viewers, audiences. Onstage, they are brash, bold, daring. Yet many crave solitude, need the nourishment of reflection, or retreat at a distance from the roar of the crowd.
Read More“Calm down.”
“You’re too sensitive!”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
These sentiments are likely all too familiar to the highly sensitive person, and in particular the highly sensitive child. Growing up, I recall countless teary eyed instances of fighting - with little success - to try to restrain the expression of my emotions, only to be met with judgment and criticism from adults and fellow children alike. Often HSPs grow up to absorb these messages and take them on as our own, which can lead to the belief that we, and our feelings are, inherently “too much”. This can lead to self-blame and guilt, and the adoption of an almost default state of apologetic being. Even if logically we now know that sensitivity is not shameful and is even in many ways a strength, letting go of these internalized ideas can be difficult. Accepting one’s sensitivity can be a slow process, but here are a few ways to start.
Read MoreIn the United States and throughout many western, developed countries, we live in societies that value decisiveness, physical strength (which might also be labeled aggression), extraversion, charisma, strong opinions, individual over group needs, pushing ahead at nearly all costs (often thought of as progress), and toughness, (usually defined as not showing emotions). For sensitive souls, these values simply don’t align with who we are.
Read MorePeople who are highly sensitive or attuned to their environment can experience changes in weather, light, and energy very intensely. In the past few months, the days have gotten shorter, colder, and we may have even noticed a general shift in energy all around us. This can be a welcome change for some and more difficult for others, especially when the expectations we feel don’t match up with the energy we have to deal with them.
Read MoreCrying easily is something many HSPs deal with in their day-to-day life. There are times when your nerves feel raw or you feel like a water balloon and every person and situation you encounter has a pin that could cause you to burst into tears at any moment. Crying in front of others can feel quite vulnerable and many of us may have even had experiences of people reacting insensitively to our tears.