Survival Mode: Fawn
Ivy Griffin
A closer look at an often overlooked trauma response
Fawning is a survival mode we are more likely to enter when our mind determines the best course of action for safety and well being is to appease the threat instead of confronting (fight), avoiding (flight), or shutting down (freeze). When one is fawning, the self is suppressed often unconsciously (you may disconnect from your own thoughts, feelings, sensations/experiences, opinions, beliefs/moral code) and there is an attempt to keep the peace in order to avoid conflict by aligning more with the desires or will of the threat. From an outsider's perspective an fawning can look like co-dependence, people pleasing, and poor boundaries.
Why does fawning occur?
As research continues, current evidence indicates that repeated longer term trauma (i.e. relational trauma, complex trauma, early childhood trauma) can contribute to the development of a stronger fawn response in some individuals. There have also been signs that indicate that parentified children, or those who grew up in a culture or environment that relied heavily on shaming may be more likely to develop a stronger fawn response as well.
Signs that may indicate a stronger fawn response
A habit of over apologizing
Often having difficulty saying, “no”
A tendency to minimize, or exclude your own needs
A habit or urge to help rescue others from their own problems or issues
Consistent struggles to self-express or even understand your own thoughts and opinions
A habit of not voicing opinions or preferences
Developing an “it’s my fault,” mentality wherein you take excessive accountability for the emotional reactions or responses of others
Shifting your preferences to align with others when on the spot
Minimizing or denying when you are being negatively impacted
A habit of subtly guiding others’ choices in “safer,” directions
Having difficulty with holding boundaries
Often avoiding attention or keeping a low profile
Developing somatic symptoms
I hope this gives a little insight and understanding into a survival mode that doesn’t always get the spotlight. If any of this resonates with you or your experiences, just know that you are not alone. In therapy there are ways to help you address a stronger fawn response by supporting you in building awareness, helping you tune back into yourself, supporting you in building healthier relationships with better boundaries and supporting you in finding the value in all that you contribute to this world.
With warm regards,
she/her