A Letter for the True Believers, the Hopeful Optimist in Therapy

For the true believers,

Your willingness to have faith and jump in with both feet can be such a beautiful strength when it comes to starting therapy. However where this trait will sometimes bite us in the butt is when we are further into the therapeutic process. Below are some tips to help keep that beautiful optimism in healthy check, so that you and your therapist can get a more realistic idea of how things are progressing

It’s okay Not to be okay: One of the first tips is to be mindful of your minimizations (minimizing is when we use language to lessen the perceived impact something is having). An example of minimizing might be something along the lines of “I’m feeling stressed. It’s not a big deal, not compared to what other people are dealing with, I'm probably just overthinking it.”

Sometimes when clients get further into therapy they may notice an increased tendency to minimize because they understandably want things to be better, and are scared that if they acknowledge the true depth of the struggle that they will sink further into it and never get out. The truth is however most feelings just want to be heard. It’s when we continually shove them in the closet that they get irate and lash out. If you have a hard time not minimizing at first, try using a likert scale to better communicate with your therapist how strong the feeling is. A likert scale may be a 0-10 rating scale (0=this feeling is calm and at peace, 10=this feeling is the most overwhelming and intense it’s ever been)

It’s okay if a therapeutic intervention isn’t working: The next tip is to communicate honestly with your therapist along the way. If they suggested a therapeutic technique or intervention that isn’t working for you, or you aren’t actually interested in or planning on trying to do it - TELL THEM! Sometimes the hopeful optimist will hold back on communicating because they convince themselves that they just need a little more time, or they’ll try it next week.

If the issue is lack of interest, a good therapist might be able to provide more psychoeducation behind what the technique is intended to do and how it can support you which may help you feel more comfortable trying the process. And if the issue is that it isn’t working they may be able to fine tune the approach to better suit how your brain functions and processes things, or identify a different process that better aligns with you. Communication has always been and will always be a key component of the therapeutic process. 

With warm regards,
Megan Bell, LMFT # 114303

Thrive Therapy & Counseling

2131 Capitol Ave, Suite 306

Sacramento, CA, 95816