Gratitude and the highly sensitive person
Ivy Griffin
Are you ever challenged to find things you are thankful for? I know I sometimes struggle with this. It can be hard to pinpoint the good in life when your mind is swimming with to do lists, hurt feelings, and self-doubt. On top of that, highly sensitive people are often inundated with stimuli, which can feel really overwhelming. And, if you’re already feeling down, it can be hard and even annoying to focus on gratitude. Writing a list of 3-5 things you are thankful for might even seem to trivialize and minimize the intensity of your emotions. But despite these challenges, I want to encourage HSPs to give the practice of gratitude a try. Why?
As a Highly Sensitive Person and therapist, I’ve seen how the practice of gratitude can save a person from going into a dark tunnel of despair and anxiety. We all know that life can be hard, and being human is sometimes very painful. This is especially true for sensitive people who tend to be more affected by both positive and negative experiences. We may really savor that deep conversation with a good friend or be more excited about our upcoming vacation than our family or friends. On the flip side, that negative comment from our boss or being ghosted by a new dating partner may linger and make us feel sad, down on ourselves, or overwhelmed for days, even when others seem to just shake these things off.
The human brain has a tendency to focus on what is negative, what could go wrong, what didn’t go the way we wanted, and so on. This is because it helps our species survive. Biology prioritizes the survival of the organism, and focusing on the negative is a way to ward off potential threats and problems. Now, add in how HSPs are more aware of their environments and are more affected by negative experiences. What can result? That’s right--a tendency to live in negativity and worry, which then impacts us more than others and creates a negative feedback loop.
In comes the practice of gratitude. Gratitude is defined as the quality of being thankful and a readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. You may be reading this and think, “I already go out of my way to be kind and to show appreciation!” Of course, you do! HSPs are amazing at helping others feel supported and loved. But, how do you help yourself feel loved and supported?
While studying Psychology at UC Davis, I came across a professor named Robert Emmons, PhD, who broke down gratitude into two parts:
Affirming that there are good things in the world and that we have received some of those gifts, and
Recognizing that others have the ability to give us gifts, big and small.
Practicing gratitude is a way to offer ourselves kindness and positivity by remembering that we have experienced good things and that others have and do support us.
Even though an HSP’s mind is often flooded with data on an hourly basis, stopping to focus on gratitude can be a grounding and soothing experience for us. It helps us focus in the moment, makes us slow down and think on a broader scale, and gives us perspective about what is good and positive. And, if we usually benefit even more than others from positive experiences, let’s also enjoy the boost we can get from being grateful!
Here are some ideas about how to start:
Create a gratitude journal where you write about an event you feel grateful for. Include all the yummy details like the good feelings you felt and what lead to the experience.
Write down 3 things every day that you’re thankful for. It can be anything from having electricity to eating that delicious brownie for dessert!
Write a gratitude letter to someone who you’d like to express gratitude for but haven’t had a chance to do so yet.
Go on a walk in a calm space and notice as many positive sights, sounds, smells, or sensations as you can.
Best wishes!
Alexandra
Alexandra Garton, LMFT #84263
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
1614 X St., Suite A
Sacramento, CA 95818
916-287-3430
thrivetherapyandcounseling.com
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