A Different Type of Strength
Ivy Griffin
What does it mean to “be strong”? When you think of that phrase, what images spring to mind? You might picture someone who is physically strong, someone who is unemotional or stoic, or someone who is able to take on a lot and physically do many tasks or activities. But this is not the only type of strength there is and might not even be the healthiest.
Traits like stoicism, physical strength, and being “productive” might be valuable to the surrounding culture because they’re linked to economic profit but what’s profitable isn’t the same as what’s healthy. We also might receive messages from the culture about what it means to be emotionally strong like “I must suppress my emotions” or “Put on a happy face.” But, as many of us know, these messages don’t necessarily decrease our inner turmoil and in some cases may add to it because of the shame we experience about our feelings.
I’d like to propose an idea of a different type of strength, one that’s based on recognition of our everyday resiliency, adaptability, boundaries, and capacity for change and growth. Some of the strongest people I’ve ever known have been people who:
Have the courage to be who they are and share the most vulnerable and human parts of themselves. We might not share these parts of ourselves with everyone but we should recognize the courage it takes to do so with even one person.
Have the courage to say “no” to the people and things that do not align with their values and their deepest sense of what’s important. On the flip side, they also have the courage to hope and take chances to better their lives.
Ask for help when they need it. They recognize there’s strength in numbers. Have you ever seen one of those amazing ant chains? They know how to support each other!
These are only a few examples of the amazing strength I see in people every day. A lot of times we miss the things that make us strong and amazing and resilient because the culture around us undervalues those traits. I invite you to recognize that you didn’t get here by accident. If you’re reading this, you’ve survived 100% of the difficulties you’ve experienced in life. Perhaps you are stronger than you think.
Sometimes the lens through which we view ourselves and the world is clouded by painful messages and treatment we’ve received from others and we need help to take a different perspective. We’re here for that. Please reach out if you need support.
All the best,
Ileana Arganda-Stevens, AMFT #99821
Clinical Lead
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
916-287-3430
thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/ileana-arganda
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