Calming Anxiety
Ivy Griffin
Mass shootings in our towns, war in Europe and the Middle East, Covid-19 surging and falling, school online, school back in class...these things would make anyone anxious. And for teens and pre-teens, there's the added pressure of figuring out who you are, what you want to do with your life, and where you fit in. And it seems like teens were already more stressed out than previous generations. Why? Maybe you know better than I do, but from a Gen-Xer perspective, kids have a lot more homework a lot sooner, and higher expectations in school. I didn't have to learn to read until 2nd grade. College was optional – encouraged, but still optional. Now you have to go to college just to make sure you can support yourself. It's a lot of pressure for you young people, which can cause a lot of anxiety; anxiety you don't even know is there until it's too late and it's become overwhelming. It can creep around under the surface 24/7 making it seem natural – but it's not! We have a birthright to feel secure and safe, and to be able to rest and digest.
No one likes to be told what to do, and there are a lot of different ways to calm anxiety, so finding your own ways will make you more likely to do them. Practicing daily is preventative, which means it keeps stress levels lower to begin with. But once you've made friends with your methods, they can help when it's urgent, too. I invite you to make a list of things you like to do. It can be helpful to write a variety of kinds of activities on your list, including:
Physical exercise such as walking or working out, which gets the positive, happy chemicals flowing in the body.
Relaxation techniques such as listening to a guided meditation on an app such as Insight Timer or Calm, or listening to Tibetan bells on YouTube.
Quiet exercises such as yoga and Dynamic Mindfulness (a method of being aware of our bodies while they are in motion).
Positive activities such as knitting or crafting
Eating healthfully helps, too. These kinds of old-fashioned things can help us to feel more comfortable in our bodies.
Your own list can give you ideas of what to do when you want to calm anxiety. And I'd also like to offer something that helps me. Sometimes it's easiest to start with the body, and paying attention to what's going on inside it. This is called a Body Scan:
1. Sit or stand as comfortably as possible (with an intention to stay awake).
2. Begin at your toes, paying attention to what they feel like. Are they cold? Hot? Is there any pain, numbness, tingling, heaviness or lightness?
3. Slowly move your attention from one body part to the next, upwards through your feet, legs, hips, belly, stomach, arms, chest, neck, face and head. Pay attention to what that body part feels like. Can you sense the body part? It can be hard to even sense it sometimes because we're not used to it, but do the best you can. Our bodies like attention too!
4. As you go from one body part to the next, remember to breathe. This lets the body know it is safe and can relax.
Life can throw a lot of juggling balls at us, but we can also learn to protect ourselves. Taking time for ourselves, to allow relaxation and calm, kindness and gentleness, means a lot. Our society doesn't teach or even encourage us how to nurture ourselves, but we can learn to do it anyway. And to quote a colleague's blog from a couple months ago, we can learn to have balance between our "human doing" and "human being."
Best,
Judy Thornhill
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist #45705
https://thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/judy-thornhill
916-287-3430