The holidays can be hard
Ivy Griffin
The holidays can be hard in an average year, and of course, this year has been anything but average. You and your family might be looking at a very different scenario this year, in terms of travel and spending time with family. As the days get shorter and colder, you and your kids might be spending more time inside, and after months and months of being in close quarters, this can be stressful for everyone.
On top of that, we’ve all felt many losses already this year. The prospect of the upcoming holidays and realizing how they won’t be the same right now can feel like one more big disappointment.
So, how can we cope and create some positivity in the midst of the uncertainty we’re living with? If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s the value of having things to look forward to. Just having something on the calendar lets us know there’s a little light at the end of the tunnel and gives us hope. This could be a good opportunity for you and your teen to think creatively about the holidays.
Get together and talk about your thoughts and feelings as you look forward. It’s normal to feel anxious, sad, and disappointed so if your teen feels this way, let them know you understand and maybe you even feel it too!
Let them know that you’d like their input on some stuff you could do together to make this year special. You can throw out a couple of ideas like driving around to look at lights, maybe making something special together in the kitchen or with a loved one over Zoom--make it a cooking show! Maybe it’s time to start a new tradition that has special meaning to your family, or maybe it’s time to revive old traditions like sending cards in the mail.
Once you decide on some activities, you can even pick what dates you’ll do them on. Whether you mark the dates on a calendar or just know that they’re coming up, having these positive activities to look forward to can brighten your teen and your whole family’s mood and make the holidays feel more festive.
With your teen, you can also discuss what you’d like to bring into your house and your family this holiday season--is it hope? Laughter? Play? Creativity? Whether they show it or not, teens appreciate being asked their thoughts and feelings on things--even if they don’t share in the moment. Perhaps you could keep a list of ideas on the refrigerator that everyone could contribute to in their own time.
You can model openness and flexibility for your teen by having conversations like this, and it also lets them know that their thoughts and feelings are valued. Most importantly, it reinforces the idea that no matter the circumstances, meaningful connection is possible and important.
Wishing you and your loved ones peace and hope,
Ileana
Ileana Arganda-Stevens, AMFT #99821
she/her
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
thrivetherapyandcounseling.com
916-287-3430
hello@thrivetherapyandcounseling.com