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Thrive Therapy & Counseling provides high quality therapy to Highly Sensitive People and to kids, teens or adults struggling with anxiety, depression or self-esteem.

Understanding Validation

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This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves.  There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!

Understanding Validation

Ivy Griffin

At points in all of our lives, we find ourselves feeling as though other people do not hear or understand us. This can be hugely frustrating and lead to a breakdown in communication where neither side feels as though they are being recognized. In these instances, validation can be incredibly helpful. Below are some skills to help you let people know that you care and are listening, which helps them listen better to you in return. 

Tips for Validation:

Validation is about understanding what someone is experiencing and letting the person know that it makes sense. This does NOT mean validating the invalid. For example: If someone felt so angry they punched a hole in the wall, I would not validate the action of punching the hole in the wall, I would validate the fact that the person was angry.

When at a loss for how/what to validate in a situation, try to identify the emotion or feeling someone is experiencing and validate this. Emotions are always valid, what we do with them may or may not be valid.

DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) Levels of Validation

 There are different levels or types of validation which can be a great way to convey to someone that you care and that you are listening.

 Level 1. Pay attention. Show the person that you are listening through body language. Face the person, provide eye contact, nod and do your best to not interrupt.

 Level 2. Reflect back what the person has said in order to confirm that you have heard and are understanding them correctly. (“so you’re saying…”)

 Level 3. Read the nonverbal Look for what the person is not saying by paying attention to their body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. (“It looks like you’re feeling overwhelmed and sad…”). If the person lets you know that you have read the situation wrong, be ready to let go of your assumptions.

Ultimately, validation is one of the key components to communication and is a huge step in effectively letting someone know that we are listening and care. In addition to these first three levels of validation, there are three more that can enhance your skills even further! Stay tuned to learn validation levels 4-6! 

Paige Roberts, AMFT # 115728

Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714

Thrive Therapy & Counseling

916-287-0884


categories healthy relationships, improve communication, relationships, therapy Sacramento
tags surviving and thriving, communication skills, improve relationships, self improvement