How to Navigate Grief + Loss
Ivy Griffin
When I think of grief and loss, there are a handful of emotions that come to mind: sadness, anger, fear, agony, overwhelm, and many more that we may not even have words for. All of these are valid. In these moments, I personally have found it helpful to have some guiding pillars to return to and act as my compass while navigating through the intricacies of this experience. Today, I’d like to share those with you all. Whether you’re experiencing grief, loss, or a combination of both I encourage you to remember and exercise the following:
Take it one day at a time
Whether this is your first, second, or countless experience with grief + loss, I encourage you to take it one day at a time. Hour to hour, even minute to minute, we can experience a change in emotions and for that reason alone, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself.
Let yourself fall apart
Remember, this is not a time where you’re going to be on your best behavior. Because it’s going to look different to everyone, give your mind and body the space to grieve and don't judge yourself for how that looks (aside from self-destructive behaviors).
Offer yourself empathy and compassion often
This may be one of the most trying times in your life and without empathy and compassion, that is going to make the experience that much harder to get through. Offer yourself empathy and compassion often so that you don’t get stuck in the whirlwind of it all.
Lower your expectations
Similar to 2, it is not realistic for you to be performing at your best right now, therefore expect that you won’t be able to attend to things as you normally would. This is normal. Do not expect others who may also be going through this to show up as their best selves either. This is hard and as such, we may fall.
Set and maintain boundaries as best you can
There may be individuals in your life who can or cannot respect your boundaries during this difficult time. Set them anyways. This is a way to maintain what is within your control AND let others know where you stand.
Lean on your support system and coping skills
I know it can feel overwhelming and challenging right now and you may not even know what you need at this moment, but nevertheless, I encourage you to let your support system in. These are the people who know the best version of you, have been by your side relentlessly, and have often seen you at your highest functioning. So, give them a little credit and entertain the fact that they may know what you need or at the least how to lend a helping hand during this time.
Check in with yourself often
To tie all of the above together, check in and ask yourself what you need. Is it any or all of the above or is it something not on this list? Either way, advocate for yourselves and make checking in a regular part of your process and do not feel you have to follow these pillars in this order. Overlap may happen and I encourage you to rinse and repeat all of the above as needed.
Take care,
Carly Kubochi, LMFT #134550
https://thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/carly-kubochi
916-287-3430