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Thrive Therapy & Counseling provides high quality therapy to Highly Sensitive People and to kids, teens or adults struggling with anxiety, depression or self-esteem.

When Coping Is Unhealthy

Blog

This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves.  There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!

When Coping Is Unhealthy

Ivy Griffin

"I just want to be able to cope better." I hear it all the time. Sometimes, coping is desirable and beneficial but when is it unhealthy to "cope"?

Coping is generally thought of as an ability to tolerate and navigate various situations. Low ability to cope might manifest as persistent feelings of being incapable, overwhelm, or paralysis. A healthy ability to cope might manifest as a general sense that even hard situations are manageable. 

It's also possible to over-cope. Some of us develop the ability to navigate tough situations as a result of growing up in constant stress. We also live in a culture that promotes detachment through constant consumption of food, substances, and entertainment. All of this may lead us to detach emotionally even in situations that warrant upset. 

How is this harmful? 

If we view our ability to tolerate stressful situations as positive even when we're experiencing personal or professional mistreatment, exploitation, or neglect, we may suppress our natural, human needs for health, safety, and connection. Over time, we may even become numb to harm happening around us (e.g. viewing mistreatment as something we all just have to put up with). I'm sure some of us feel there is already a prevailing attitude of callousness in the world around us and we don’t need more of that.  

How do we know when we're coping in a healthy way? 

  1. Distress – You can still experience distress. Just because you cry or become overwhelmed or frustrated, doesn't mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s natural to experience distress when we experience ill health, injury, harm, or we’re unable to be our authentic selves. Perhaps you take a break, slow down, or seek support while you decide how to move forward.

  2. You're open to change – Healthy coping always leaves the possibility for change to the status quo, especially if the status quo becomes unhealthy or harmful. Conversely, over-coping maintains the status quo at all costs. A healthy response to a harmful situation might be to try to change the situation in some way or leave. 

  3. Humane solutions – Healthy coping allows us to respond to our needs and respect ourselves whereas over-coping may lead you to neglect and disrespect yourself.

Over-coping can be difficult to address, especially when it's reinforced by the wider society. But just because it's common doesn't make it healthy or right. Coping should never require you to sacrifice your self-respect or your health. If you find yourself struggling with anything mentioned in this blog, therapy can help. 

Best, 

Ileana Arganda-Stevens, LMFT# 129032

Therapist and Program Manager 

https://thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/ileana-arganda

categories be true to yourself, different kind of therapy, live and grow, therapy Sacramento
tags surviving and thriving, giving yourself options, be true to yourself, self-care