Honing your self-care routine
Ivy Griffin
We can find a lot of information out there about self-care routines from planning your weekly exercise regimen to what skin care steps to follow every day to how to begin meditating. While all of this can be helpful, we don’t often talk about how to match self-care to our current emotional state, and as sensitive souls, it can be really important to check in with ourselves regularly about how we’re feeling and to engage in practices to take care of ourselves that meet these needs.
In Buddhist practices, there is the concept of “blue sky mind,” which is the idea that there is always a clear, big, calm blue sky in our minds but sometimes it’s covered with clouds and weather. Even when we can’t see it, that calm, centeredness of the blue sky remains underneath it all. I like to think of self-care as being the things we do that help us reconnect with this big blue sky.
In order to reconnect, we may need to pay attention to the “weather” that’s currently present. Is it raining, and we need to grab our rain boots and umbrella to head out? Is it cold, and we need to done our heavier coat and gloves? Or, is it pleasant now but will cool down later, so we need to take that light jacket for the evening?
Similarly, when we ask ourselves how we’re feeling, we can hone in on what that particular feeling needs. As empaths and HSPs, a good place to start is to consider whether we’re feeling overwhelmed or underwhelmed.
Signs of overwhelm:
Feeling nervous, jittery, on edge
Muscle tension
Having trouble relaxing
Feeling amped up
May have trouble sitting still or focusing
Overthinking or overanalyzing, especially when you recognize it’s not helping you solve the problem
Signs of underwhelm:
Tired, even though you’re rested or sleeping too much
Frustration with yourself for not doing more
Feeling “meh,” not really caring
Agitated or irritable and don’t know why
Isolating yourself, turning down or cancelling too many plans
Being so focused on avoiding overwhelm that you stop
enjoying life
If we’re overwhelmed, what do we need? Probably to slow down, find some quiet, and go inward. This may mean a nice, hot bath or shower, time meditating or journaling, sleeping (yes, this is an essential part of self-care! And, as HSPs, we tend to need more sleep than other people.), reading or watching a show, sitting in nature or staring out the window, listening to music, etc.
On the other hand, if we’re underwhelmed, we likely need to add some interaction and invigoration into our day. What does this mean? Calling a friend, making plans to get together with someone (Of course, this is more challenging with the pandemic, but hanging out socially distanced in a park, going for a masked walk, or even dining outdoors--as long as you’re both comfortable doing so--can be options.), exercising, creating art, organizing a cabinet, gardening, tackling a new skill, or cooking can all be ways to give yourself a boost. With underwhelm, we need to do things that are a bit challenging and push us a little out of our current comfort zone.
The reality is that most of us will move through periods of overwhelm and underwhelm every single day. This is a normal part of life for us sensitive souls. We can even track this to look for patterns, so we can adjust our self-care accordingly. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to be. The key is just to check-in with ourselves regularly, so we can adjust what we’re doing and kindly and gently give ourselves what we need. We deserve it!
Wishing you rest and invigoration as you take care of yourselves,
Ivy
Ivy Griffin, LMFT # 51714, Director
she/hers
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
thrivetherapyandcounseling.com
916-287-3430