A common struggle for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) is overthinking. “My brain won’t stop,” or, “I can’t turn it off!” or “I’m overanalyzing again” are common refrains. While I know it can be incredibly frustrating and overwhelming at times, all this thinking actually makes a lot of sense for sensitive folks. One of the main characteristics of being highly sensitive is “depth of processing.” This means we think on a super deep level. We take all the information that we’ve been absorbing from our environment—another core feature of being an HSP being that we notice a lot about the world around us—and dive into our thoughts about situations, other people, our own actions, our beliefs and values or maybe even just a comment we made or a look we gave.  If we’re worried or stressed, this can be great fodder for our overthinking brain to take us down the rabbit hole.

Summer’s on the horizon, and a lot of people are gearing up for travel and vacations. Whether you may be heading out to enjoy some time in nature, relaxing on the beach or hopping on a plane, travel for a sensitive person can be both exhilarating and overwhelming. However, for highly sensitive people, it’s so necessary to take a break from the grind of life.

How many times do we hear people say, “Don’t sweat the small stuff!” “Stop making mountains out of molehills.” “Just let it go!” Then, for sensitive folks, how many ways do we beat ourselves up for not being able to do these very things? “There’s something wrong with me.” “Why can’t I be like other people?” “Why do things get to me so much?” This questioning and blaming, naturally, leads to negative thoughts and judgments about ourselves, which then makes us feel (in technical terms) like shit.

How would you fill in this blank today? You have the right to need ______________. Quiet time? Acceptance? Time spent outdoors? Love? Snuggles from your partner? Gentleness? Validation?

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) tend to struggle with and fight against their own needs. We may try to talk ourselves out of our needs (“It’s my problem; I just need to get over it.”), or shove down our needs to try to make them disappear (by bingeing on Netflix or having one more glass of wine to distract ourselves). We may even try to guilt ourselves out of our needs—“There are so many people in the world who don’t have running water. It’s not ok for me to be worried about my hurt feelings.” Any of this sound familiar, dear sensitive souls?

There are times in life that require change. It might be a new job possibility, a passion about starting a new business, an interest in taking up a new hobby. It can also be challenges of life that necessitate change—a relationship that is no longer working, a sick loved one, a work environment or career that does not fit our needs. Whatever the impetus, it can be a scary and overwhelming time, especially for highly sensitive people (HSPs).

I was blown away when I learned that this was possible. I know, combining these two traits sounds like a total oxymoron, right? How can a person both be sensitive to stimuli and their environment, feel emotions deeply, be thoroughly analytical and think-before-acting AND want MORE intensity, excitement, adventure, newness? Well, because we human beings are incredibly complex! I also knew as soon as I heard the high sensation seeker (HSS) term that that must be me, just like I knew the instant I heard of a highly sensitive person (HSP) that I too was one.

Luckily, there’s also research to back up each of these traits. (Because, you know how we HSPs can overanalyze to the point we completely doubt ourselves.)

Have you ever stopped and thought about all the qualities that make you uniquely you, dear highly sensitive person? Yes, yes, as an HSP, you might already be over-analyzing. If you’re having a bad day or in low spirits, you might be telling yourself there’s nothing so special about you. Or, you might be able to write an essay describing yourself with all that wonderful insight you have. No matter how you’re feeling right now, no matter what kind of day it is, I first invite you to take some time--today or within this next week--for yourself and the following exercise.

We all need support. As humans, we’re social creatures. This means, biologically, we're wired to live in groups, work together and connect with other people. How we do this and how much we do this certainly varies based on our individual preferences, life experience, personality traits and so on. This need for positive encouraging support can be even more crucial for HSPs (highly sensitive people).

Why?

Have you ever stopped and really paid attention to the thoughts running through your head? Ever really listened to what your thoughts say to you about you? Notice how it can feel like you have the harshest critic in the world living in your own head? Our thoughts can be total jerks! As human beings, we have this tendency to talk to ourselves in ways we would never dream of speaking to anyone else, and this is especially true for us HSPs (highly sensitive people).

I realize that I’ve been practicing meditation for about 7 years now. <lets out a low whistle.> I’m both proud and shocked at how long that sounds. I also feel some immediate imposter syndrome kick in and want to make sure you know that I am in no way some kind of meditation guru. Not. Even. Close. My journey with meditation has been stop and go. Sometimes I’m off for a while before I get back on the path again.I definitely do not believe there is only one way to meditate, but if there’s only one way that works or resonates for you—that’s okay too. I’m of the find-what-works-for-you-and-do-it approach.